Sunday, October 31, 2010

House Cleaning Dream

On Thursday October 28th I had another dream. It is a part two to the Down Hill Dream and is as follows:
I was in this house that had been destroyed by fire but was still standing. I was walking through it looking at the damage then went into this trophy / study room. The shelves were still in place from floor to ceiling, there were a lot of shelves in this room and they were filled with artifacts and things. Some could be identified but most could not. However, there was one thing that stood out to me as my eyes roamed over the burned remains. There was a snake that was on a shelf about waist high and it was particaly coiled up in the diameter size of a frisbee yet its head was raised up about 12 inches like a cobra would before it strikes its victim. It had its mouth open like it was going to strike but it almost looked more like a sneer, there were no fangs or teeth that I could see. He was preserved remarkably well, all his scales, markings, eyes and tongue were life like. He looked life like yet frozen, the really strange thing is that I felt like I knew this snake or that I had been in its presence before. It was almost like something had happened that ended his life quickly with out decay or maybe he had been preserved by one of the best taxidermist in the world. After seeing the graphic details of the snake I woke up. I was not afraid, worried or alarmed, I was just a little puzzled about what this all meant. After waking up I asked the HS what this all meant and he said that in the fire that occurred which was not obviously over everything had been destroyed and that it was time to clean everything out so that rebuilding could began. He said nothing the house of my heart was worth saving and He would rebuild it Himself. I asked Him about the snake and what that meant. He said that Satan was next to me and wanted to strike me but could not figure out how because he had no teeth to inject venom and I would not run off in fear so we were at a stand still next to each other. It is interesting that his only weapon was to intimidate me to run off and since I refused to be intimidated he could do nothing even thought he was right next to me.
I shared this with one of my close friends and he said it sounded like a pyroclastic cloud had hit the house.
Not ever hearing of this word caused me to go look it up. Here is the meaning:
Pyro - meaning intense fire or heat
Clastic - to be broken into pieces, rocks of pre existing matter, matter that is separated
So here is the interpretation of the dream that the Lord gave me.
He came to me in the night and in a cloud of His heat and fire of His love He caused everything in my heart to be burned, The rocks that I once stood on as foundations in my heart were now broken. I was unharmed by the intense heat and fire much like the Hebrew boys in the furnace of fire but the snake was instantly preserved like living things are when they are hit by a pyroclastic flow or cloud. I was spared but everything else was destroyed.

Down Hill Dream

In August of 2009 on a Tuesday morning I woke up in the middle of the night with the following dream on my heart in full color:
I was in a God's Care truck at the top of this big hill and the truck was facing with its back towards the downward part of the hill. I was sitting in the middle and the driver got out and walked around to the front. He had left it running and in drive. Everything seemed to be ok until it started rolling backwards down the hill so I placed my left foot on the gas and the tires began to spin but the truck slowly kept going down the hill backwards. When I realized that was not working I put my left foot on the brake and held it but the truck continued to slide slowly down the hill backwards.
As I slid down the hill I did not have any anxiety nor fear, I never thought of moving over behind the drivers wheel to try to better control it. I was thinking to myself, i am going to just ride this out until I get to the bottom. It seemed like forever sliding down the hill because the truck was sliding slowly, it was not picking up speed and was not out of control. Finaly we hit an embankment at the bottom of the hill and there was a very hard jar as we hit, then the front of the truck lifted up so that I was pointed upwards toward the sky like a rocket. I stayed like this for a minute or two then the truck began to slowly tip backwards and rolled back into this small river at the bottom. The truck then began to sink so I climbed out and swam to the embankment and sat there watching my truck and all its equipment sink. It sank slowly also just like me coming down the hill but I sat there watching this with no fear, no anger, no anxiety, and no worries. The last thing I thought before waking up was, "Ok, the equipment I used to stay in business and provide for my family is gone, what will I do now God."

Over the past year my personal life, family life and business and ministry life has been sliding downhill slowly. Things have been coming unraveled, things breaking and blowing up for no reason. There was a point and time where I had no employees, and no equipment but one small mower and one edger. I was on this large property that it normally took us 30 minutes to service and now it was taking me almost 5 hours by myself thinking what is next. I was not hearing the voice of my Dad but I fealt this overshadowing peace that everything was alright. I wanted to jump out of the situation but rememberd my dream, stay in the truck and ride this out with God. He is with you and has a plan for you in this. After consulting with a friend one day they suggested to me to ask God what is next since everything has sunk.

My Story

Most of my life has been lived laced with the threads of fear and performance. I trusted these threads would keep me together. I felt that if just one broke loose I would come undone. On the outside I looked colorful and put together but on the inside I was a mess. Jesus says not to put a new patch over a tear in a garment or else it will break loose. I have been repeatedly repairing the same tear for over 35 years until two and half years ago. Jesus revealed my heart to me. I began to see dark, ugly, sick roots filled with poison that were rooted deep in my heart. I asked Him to heal me and He has. I am living our of love not fear, I am learning to be open, honest, and transparent in all my relationships. I have entered a place of rest in my heart. I realize that I am accepted just as I am. I can not be good enough nor do enough to be good. I am good with God because He made me good. I am so free from feeling like I have to perform for love and acceptance and this releases me into a place of rest.
Thank You Jesus for my story.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Testing & Trials

I think of how many times the following scripture has been used in our own lives as well as to help give order and meaning to someones life. Two primary things stand out in this passage that many of us focus on when it pertains to crisis, pain, bad choices, bad luck, discipline or whatever else you want to call it, I would like to call this, just LIFE!
1 Co 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
1. We Try To Escape It
We somehow translate the fact that we will not be tempted beyond what we can handle and mix it up with the thought that He does not want us to go thought anything hurtful. We try to avoid pain because it connects us with out own brokenness that we have not allowed to be healed in our own life. So rather than allowing God to heal us, we try to use Him in order to get out of uncomfortable situations so we do not have to deal with our own issues. The very heart of God is connect with you in the depth of your heart so you can have a real relationship based out of love and truth with Him.

2. We Pitch A Tent Live In It

We bear up under it in order to go through it then begin to live in it and slowly allow it to become our identity. Many of us have spent our 40 plus years in the wilderness for no reason. We hold onto pain and memories from years in the past, we live in what could have and should have been but the reality is that the past is in the past. Many of us have adopted a martar mentality style of living while justifying it in the fact that we are called to suffer in this life just like Christ did. We somehow think that Jesus was always sad, hurting, and suffering but fail to see that he played, laughed, and loved. The root of this mentality is that we think if we do enough for Him or suffer enough for Him then we will be accepted by Him.
I am thinking of a passage that says it is not by our works but by His work on the cross that made us accepted and forgiven.

I would like to purpose a third primary thing in this for you to think about.

3. Go Through It
The passage says that everything common to man will come our way because we are human but He is faithful, He is watchful, He is all knowing, He is all seeing and He is working everything out in your life for your good.
Well if God is good then why do I have to suffer?
I do not know.
But from my most recent season in the wilderness of pain and suffering which I went into 12 months ago it was not because of something I did or did not do. Not everyone deserves what they are going through in life, just food for thought.
Abraham was told to take his promise son to the top of a mountain to kill him. Did God want him dead? Or was God wanting Abraham to be willing to place God at a higher place of importance in his heart than his son? We have some friends who have a child and this child is everything to them, it almost makes me sick at times because the child can't do anything for himself and doesn't need too because he has parents that do it for him.
I am learning that there are things in our life that we need to be separated from because if we continue to hold on to them they will kill us. We need to learn to just go through things, not run from them and not camp out in them but allow the process of Life to take place in us so that we can grow up and become mature and complete not lacking anything and not easily tossed back and forth in this life.

Personal Reflection
The truth that I am learning is that some chaos has no meaning. It is simply what it is CHAOS. I know what I have desired most in the recent season of chaos and pain is for someone to come and just sit down with me me and shut up. Not for them to lend a hand, money, provisions, and exspecialy advise.
Let me be me, let me cry, let me vent, let me yell, let me ramble, let me then discover acceptance and then stand back up in faith to continue my journey. I needed to be allowed to sling dirt around from the confusing hole of my life as I search for precious valuables in the middle of the most humbling, dirty time of my life.
Sometimes we are looking for life lines to be dropped down into our hole so that we can get out but maybe there was a reason we where in that hole? Maybe there was something we where suppose to see, feel, hear or think about that would change the coarse of our life? Maybe there was a relationship that would be made in the middle of this that would change the very coarse of our life?

Drive By Shooter
There should be some kind of law against Christian drive buy shootings, we have laws to prevent that on earth so why not in for the church. Come on now, you know you have done it or at least thought about it. Allow me to set the stage:
You are living your orderly good life, making all the right choices, feeling good about yourself and all your ducks are lined up then you one day pass someone who is having trouble, their lives don't line up with right living.
You begin to think to yourself.
What did they do in order to deserve that?
They must have made some bad choices.
Maybe they pissed God off and He is teaching them a lesson.
I am sure glad that is not me you say but then you realize that God in you wants to extend a hand of compassion and love in order to aid in comforting them because this is what Christians are suppose to do. Right?
So here we are at the crossroads of conviction and action for this person. What are we going to do? What should we do? What do we end up doing?
Many times we pull a scripture out of our vacation bible school brain and load the spiritual gun of our mouth then fire away as we drive away in the vehicle of love. How many times do we use the Word of God and the Love of God as a means of justification in order to get away and disconnect with relationships rather than parking the car and getting out in order to get dirty with that person, even in their CHAOS.
What would happen if we pulled the car over rather than rolling down the window and throwing food or money at the homeless.
Stop!
Get Out!
Sit down and eat your lunch with them. Get dirty with them. Let them talk without the interruption of your wealth of abundant knowledge that has made your life so good and perfect. Sometimes life is just what it is, LIFE. I do not understand it but I know this one thing. God is good all the time and everything He is doing in my life and yours is for out good, not to harm us but to give us hope and plans for our future.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Fasting vs Feasting

We often think that the more we do without the closer to God we are. What do we do with the fact that God says He will prepair a table for us in the presence of our enemies?


You can tell the size of the man by the size of the problem that it takes to fustrate that man.


You can not truely live until you face death. Only true life can be found in true death. The dogs of doom always stand at the doors of destiny. We need to be willing to die trying. What do you love? What are you passionate about? These dogs have no teeth but they bark loud as hell. Only when we come to the point to where we have nothing left to lose can we break free from fear. Whatever it is you are called to do is what you are most fearful of and you must go through the dogs of doomed, only when you face them can you partake in the hiden treasures. Even video games show us that as we kill our enemies we grow stronger so that over time we will accept responsibilty to kill our Goliath. The devil is not your problem he is your opportunity!

The people asked for a King and God found the best man he could. Saul had never faced trials until he was King. David on the other hand had private victories before he had his public presentation. there is always a wilderness before the promise land but that does not mean it is suppose to be 40 years. You can not make it shorter but you can make it longer. the 17 day journey took 40 years. Part of battle is learning to deal with our brothers becasue this reflects our identiy. Our brothers can teach us how big we are on the inside, but this can only happen when we face them and deal with them. If you are going to kill a giant you will not do it the way you were taught, Saul tired to tell David to do the way he would do it and David said that would not work. David was telling Saul, I have not had any trials in these so i am not comfortable in them. Be true to ourselves and do it the way God wants to do it inside of you. You get victories when you learn to be the real you, take off all the mask and performance models and be you. Most of us are so afraid to be the real us, we run from the real us because the real us is found on the other side of what we fear the most.


Genetic Cloning Started in the Church

Unity is not conformity but the celebration of diversity. If you are different we throw you back in the test tube so you can try it again, you need to look like everyone else. They look like a test tube when they are finished. Most of us have a born again test tube exsperience. there is only one way to worship, one way to live life, our leader does it like this. Our fellowship functions are a neat freezer exsperience.

God is the most emotion being in the bible, when he loves it kills Him.


Before you can fight a Giant you must go through your brothers. Look at David in 1 Sam 17. Moses had to deal with his brothers before he could be the deliver. One reason we do not make changes that change histroy is because we reduce our down so that they will be smaller than us so that we feel better about our own life.


Identity

Some peoples identilty is in their crisis rather than their Christ. Jesus and the man at the pool of Bethesna and the man never answers him, he simply gave excusses as to why he can't get in. this man has no name, Why? His name was wrapped up in his crisis so we know him as the lame man. Something is always happening somewere else. Jesus gave him responsiblity to get up and take up his pallet and this stepped


You can tell how close you are to the palace by how you deal with injustice. Are you facing responsibily or are you hiding in the luggage?



Sunday, October 3, 2010

A Time for Everything

There is believe it or not a time to be direct with situations and relationships. We think that love never speaks up, love always allows someone to use us as a doormat but that is not true. Love is the best example of true confrontation in relationships as well as speaking your heart in truth. It means you share you heart even if it hurts. The hardest thing about love is that true love sends you into relationships so that you can see you and who you are so that God can work on you but we often miss that because we are wanting God to change everyone else to think and act like us.