Mirror of Me

I think backwards in my life about how mirrors are a part of our everyday lives. We are introduced to them as a baby when we play with a mirrored toy then as a toddler who hits the mirror telling the reflected child no. We then us the mirror to watch our self sing or talk as a young child and then we get into the teenage years. At this time of life the mirror can be one of our best friends or our worst enemy, we let the mirror be the final judge as to how we look, what color looks good on us, did the zit on my forehead the size of Mt. Rushmore go away. Then we move into the adult side of life and the mirror seems to tell a different story, it seems to reveal our imperfections.

I felt good and looked good until a few years ago the mirror began to show me a thicker stomach that could be seen even in my shirts. What? This could not be true. I did not listen when my waist size went up in my jeans, I did not listen when I bent over one day to tie my shoe then noticed a difference in my stomach. I had been lying to myself and had even believed my lie until the mirror set me straight.

One day while in the bathroom I was getting ready to take a bath after a long day at work. I spent some time with the mirror and allowed it to speak with me. I did not like what it said to me through my reflection, but it was true. I had gained weight, this weight had not shown up on the scale but it had in the size of my waist line. Because of the reality that the mirror revealed to me it has caused me to shift the way I eat and I have started juicing again.

God uses the mirror of me to reveal me to me. For example: James says, that people who think they know God but do not do what God says is a lair, they deceive themselves. Why? Because they look in the mirror and say that they have not gained weight even when their waist line goes from a 28 to a 34. We need to accept reality as reality, if we claim to know something about God but do not produce any fruit in that area of our lives then the mirror would reflect that for what it is. The person who lives like this does not know what they look like, they look in the mirror but forget what they look like when they leave.

My personal life testifies to this. I have spent most of my spiritual life knowing about God. Knowing what His Word says, knowing how to teach others how to live, knowing how to counsel people going through crisis, knowing the right answer at the right time and so on and so on. The reality of the mirror of me has revealed to me is that I do not know or believe half of what I think that I do. I would teach and train others about love yet lived in chaos with my family, I counseled people on how to be free yet I lived in bondage, and I have even consoled people who are suffering from loss and would tell them how good God is and that He is the God of comfort yet I did in my heart not believe it, it produced no fruit in me.

There is no condemnation or guilt for those of you reading this. I am just talking to you about a passion that the Lord has placed on my heart. He told me to not ever teach something that I myself was not living. Over the past years I have developed a strong desire to know God for myself, I want to experience Him for me, I want to taste and see that He is good, and I want to know what it is like to be free inside my heart. I want to connect with God in such a way as to be one with Him and not because the bible says it but because I have lived it. In this process God has used the mirror of me to show me to me because until I can see me outside the revelation of guilt, judgement and condemnation nothing else can be established in my life.

As I begin to be aware of who I am because of what I see in the mirror of me I am then able to release this true me to the true God who has come to set me free.