Flying With God

Experiences vs Encounters

2012-01-27T18:13:00.000-05:00

When will we grow tired of choosing experiences over encounters? We love experiences because they are exciting, they work for us, they are all about us, they make us feel better, look better plus it gives us something to talk about that further which validates our own worth and identity.

Experience

When we look at the word experience we see that it overflows into a personal occurrence which can alter the way you live, it deposits something in you that becomes livable that is now yours, it brings you to a high point of something and causes you to see things you have not seen before and feel things that you previously had not.

Encounter

Now as we look at the word encounter we see a totally different meaning. Almost all meanings draw negative situational settings like skirmish, face off, showdown, confrontation, and bump into or run across. This also unfolds itself into meet with, coming up on, clash into or to find by chance.

From my limited understanding of these two words I can see more clearly as to why we want the first with God and others but not the later. The problem with experience is that is grows you and changes you but does not confront the real issues of the heart, it simple changes or makes the outer realms of you look and feel better, heck it may even change the way you act to some degree.

It is important for us to remember that the Kingdom of God is not as concerned with what we do but who we are, so that makes it a heart issue not an obedience issue. Our world system focuses all its time and energy into looking good, acting good so that you are in agreement with the rest of the world system. The world system functions by self medicating itself with new experiences, new toys, new degrees, new lovers, new houses, new cars and so on and so on.

Please don’t hear me say that there is anything wrong with these because there is not but there is something wrong with the fact that you would rather have all of these outward temporal things but not connect in your heart with anything. Heaven tries to deal with the heart of man so that man can truly enjoy creation for the purpose of why it was created. All this stuff around us was created for us and it is fun but it was suppose to be the overflow enjoyment from the heart. We have turned it into the main event thus millions of us are left feeling more and more empty because we acquire more and more stuff.

Simply put, less leads to more in the Kingdom of God and more leads to less in the Kingdom of Man.

Mirror of Me

2012-01-08T07:46:00.002-05:00

I think backwards in my life about how mirrors are a part of our everyday lives. We are introduced to them as a baby when we play with a mirrored toy then as a toddler who hits the mirror telling the reflected child no. We then us the mirror to watch our self sing or talk as a young child and then we get into the teenage years. At this time of life the mirror can be one of our best friends or our worst enemy, we let the mirror be the final judge as to how we look, what color looks good on us, did the zit on my forehead the size of Mt. Rushmore go away. Then we move into the adult side of life and the mirror seems to tell a different story, it seems to reveal our imperfections.

I felt good and looked good until a few years ago the mirror began to show me a thicker stomach that could be seen even in my shirts. What? This could not be true. I did not listen when my waist size went up in my jeans, I did not listen when I bent over one day to tie my shoe then noticed a difference in my stomach. I had been lying to myself and had even believed my lie until the mirror set me straight.

One day while in the bathroom I was getting ready to take a bath after a long day at work. I spent some time with the mirror and allowed it to speak with me. I did not like what it said to me through my reflection, but it was true. I had gained weight, this weight had not shown up on the scale but it had in the size of my waist line. Because of the reality that the mirror revealed to me it has caused me to shift the way I eat and I have started juicing again.

God uses the mirror of me to reveal me to me. For example: James says, that people who think they know God but do not do what God says is a lair, they deceive themselves. Why? Because they look in the mirror and say that they have not gained weight even when their waist line goes from a 28 to a 34. We need to accept reality as reality, if we claim to know something about God but do not produce any fruit in that area of our lives then the mirror would reflect that for what it is. The person who lives like this does not know what they look like, they look in the mirror but forget what they look like when they leave.

My personal life testifies to this. I have spent most of my spiritual life knowing about God. Knowing what His Word says, knowing how to teach others how to live, knowing how to counsel people going through crisis, knowing the right answer at the right time and so on and so on. The reality of the mirror of me has revealed to me is that I do not know or believe half of what I think that I do. I would teach and train others about love yet lived in chaos with my family, I counseled people on how to be free yet I lived in bondage, and I have even consoled people who are suffering from loss and would tell them how good God is and that He is the God of comfort yet I did in my heart not believe it, it produced no fruit in me.

There is no condemnation or guilt for those of you reading this. I am just talking to you about a passion that the Lord has placed on my heart. He told me to not ever teach something that I myself was not living. Over the past years I have developed a strong desire to know God for myself, I want to experience Him for me, I want to taste and see that He is good, and I want to know what it is like to be free inside my heart. I want to connect with God in such a way as to be one with Him and not because the bible says it but because I have lived it. In this process God has used the mirror of me to show me to me because until I can see me outside the revelation of guilt, judgement and condemnation nothing else can be established in my life.

As I begin to be aware of who I am because of what I see in the mirror of me I am then able to release this true me to the true God who has come to set me free.

Being Present

2011-12-21T08:32:00.002-05:00

Never thought about this until 7 months ago. This strange yet painful revelation begin to surface on my radar as God was causing the eyes of my heart to see this truth. I begin to randomly think about it , it begin to come up in my inner circle conversations then my pastor preached on it and now a man I get counsel from recommended a book to me. God has this thought circling me on all sides.

All of my life I thought I was present because I simply showed up, I was there so I must be there!

I am learning to live in the present moment because this moment is all that I have. I have spent most of my life not living in the reality of the present. Most of my living hours were spent planning for the future, cleaning up the past and doing everything I could in order to not face the present in its reality. Reality is just that REAL.

The hardest part of this new revelation is learning to feel. Giving myself the freedom to feel what I am feeling is difficult but not near as hard as allowing me to be seen before others for who I really am on the inside. I do not have a really good idea of who I am because for all these years I have lived in a false reality, disconnected from truth, depending on my ability to preform so that I could look good and feel good about my own dysfunction. I am a 7 year old boy living in the body of a year old man.

I am discovering a greater since of freedom, awareness of myself and my environment. I am more in awe and overflowing with gratefulness because of me being aware of the present. How I feel, what I think, what I smell, what I hear, what this person just said to me, what I just said to them. I have been on autopilot most of my life, yet now I am beginning to take charge of my life because I am learning to live in the present, be aware of now.

I have done things all my life, so much to the point that I should have been renamed a human doing rather than a human being. I have never felt good enough to just be me. I always thought that I had to do do things and this constant doing has robbed me from living in the present awareness of now. I have missed so many divine appointments of creativity in the now because I was so busy living in the false reality of then while missing right now!

There is greatness on the inside of me, I have beauty on the inside of me and I am learning to give myself the freedom to be me! One of the doorways to this area of my heart is to allow me to feel me then to take this revelation into meaningful relationships around me. I have been so hard on Brian for so many years and never gave him slack or freedom. He was constantly pushed, driven towards excellence, never allowed to rest and let's not even talk about making mistakes.
I am releasing the child in me to be who I truly am knowing that I will begin to overflow in being who I was created to be since the beginning of time.

You do not know what you do not know. It is ok for me not to know things. I have always thought that I had to know things because if I did not know it then it made me less than worthy or good. I am beginning to see that I will never be able to tap into my true creativity as long as I can not embrace that fact that I do not know nor do I need to know everything. I have removed me from the headlock of life and allowing myself to breath and be free.

Learning to be me is the best thing that I can give to humanity. I have tried to give me to others but did not even know who or what I was giving away. You can not reproduce what you say, you only reproduce who you are in your heart. I want to allow me to see who I was created to be. As I begin to see and embrace me then over time I will begin to reproduce who I am. I am worthy of love, being loved as well as loving myself. This sounds so simply and silly but it has been the most difficult thing I have ever ventured out into. Learning to love me because I am worth it as a person, I was created to be loved and to love.

False Reality

2011-12-18T08:05:00.003-05:00

The two words in this title do not seem to go together because one is not true or real while the other is real and true. What hits home to me is that I am one of the millions who have tried to live their life in both dominions. I will peel back the curtains so that you can see behind the stage that I perform on.
I have spent and still spend much time living, entertaining and planning in the false reality state of mind. I think that things will be different in the future, things will not always be the way they are now, my past does not really contribute to me being the way I am today or worse yet thinking that this is just a phase of life and it will pass. I do not not know what to do but look around me and everyone else seems to be fine so I do what they are doing so that I will fit in and look normal. I smile and tell everyone that everything is good in my life, while I am really screaming for help.
How about working not working more hours because it makes me feel more valuable. Or lets purchase this new piece of technology so that I will feel the false reality of change and newness all the while knowing this feeling will leave me in a few weeks. How about this one. It is the lesson of cheer and giving so I will set aside me brokenness and pain so that I can make someone's life better, really I are saying that I have given up on me so I will go work on someone else so that I can avoid me dealing with me. I have spent most of my life in ministry doing this, this is the reason I have removed myself from ministry as I know it.
I am painfully learning to accept me for where I am today, I am learning to feel the pain of reality for who I have become. I am about 6 years old in my heart and this is where I am. I refuse to pretend to live in a reality that is not real. I refuse to play like everything is ok when it is not. I refuse to work harder to look better so that I feel better about being false. I am not pitching a tent to live in this place but unless I learn to face the reality at hand then I will never get any older than a 6 year old heart.
I am not doing this journey alone. I have a large group of people that know me inside and out. I am learning to be me in-front of others and this is the source of my healing. I am no longer hiding in shame and regret but allowing me to be seen for who I have been all my life.

Life is Busy

2011-12-11T08:32:00.003-05:00

I have just came out of the hardest time of my whole year which is Holiday Lighting. This year we experienced god grow our business as well as grow our hearts in new things. For me it is learning to let go and trust people. At heart I am a control freak and a micro manager. God is teaching me to love others through trusting them, learning to empower them, deligate to them, allow them to make mistakes and know that it will be ok.
This has and is a very painful work that God is doing in my life and it seems to be manifesting itself through our business. Normaly this time of year is filled with guilt because of all the things I do not do or do not have time to do but this year is different. I am resting in the fact that I am not superman, I am not the savior of the world, it is not my job to help everyone! I am here to love others, love myself and care for my family. As I go about life daily He always makes room for peoples lives to be touched and changed through the work that He is doing inside of me.

The Day I Die

2011-10-30T08:23:00.002-04:00

We have worked hard as a family to make sure that if one of us or both of us die then the rest of the family will not suffer because of their loss. Obviously we will miss the other but I am talking about funeral cost, business issues, house mortgage, and on and on. Knowing that this is in place feels good, not that I am planning on dying but to be honest I have already died so why not get prepared.

Right now is as far from the Kingdom of God as I will ever be, for darkness and Satan this is as close as he will ever get.

What will be left of me when I am gone? Obviously, house, car, impact of ministry, business accomplishments, lives that have been touched and changed and on and on. But what about what people will say about me, what about my memory, what about the residue of me that I leave on everyone whom I have ever meet?

I am talking about who I am today, the way I choose to respond to people, places and things today will directly affect how people will remember me. I can say that if I died today people would say about me, Brian was a man who:
Loved God
Loved his wife
Loved his children
Loved people
Gave his life to leave others better than he found them
Lived his life a transparent, His heart could be seen through his lifestyle
Built a good, God fearing, relationship oriented company which shapes the place in which people live.
Loved life
Loved the mountains
Loved to fly
Loved to flow prophetically
Loved to see people be transformed through the power of God

What about you? What will people say about you when you die?

My Shell

2011-10-16T07:31:00.002-04:00

I remember different times through my life when I have played with creatures in shells. Some of them include random turtles, slugs, snails, crabs, and various creatures of the sea. All of these have the same thing in common with me. When we are scared, threatened or confronted we retreat into our shell.
After 40 years of living life I am just not realizing that that I use my shell all the time. Just recently I climbed into my shell after a heated conversation with someone that I care about deeply and stayed there for about 20 hours. Do I still function in my environment? Do I still work, eat and spend time with family and friends? Yes
I am still physically here or there but the rest of me is shut down. It is like the lights are on but nobody is home. I now see that this is apart of my life and I want bring this area of secrecy out so that there is no place for me to hide. I want to see healing in my life so that I can learn to confront others and be confronted by others with out feeling the need to run and hide. I want to learn to be open and honest in my relationships without having to pretend.
This is very painful for me but choose to stay right here. No running and no hiding, I am aligning myself with God so that He can transform me into He has already created me to be.

Empty My Cup

2011-10-15T08:08:00.002-04:00

The way I am pouring the cup of my life into others is by not pouring into them.

Let me explain. If I am pouring my life into other people by doing a bunch of things that I am good at in order to make them and me feel better, helping everyone solve all their problems, blessing the community and the Kingdom or even helping change the world then I am giving the world what I do, not who I am. It is easy to give the world what you are good at, but what about giving the world the real you? The things you are afraid of, the insecurities, the vulnerable parts of your life, the secret things that no one knows about?

I am not saying that you take out a half page add in the paper or post / blog yourself for the world to see. No, that is too easy. I am talking about stepping onto the battlefield of your life and facing your Goliath. I am talking about taking ownership of the tares in your field not just the wheat. I am talking about being willing to give all of you so that you can have the pearl in the middle of the field, many of us want the treasure but we do not want to purchase the field in order to get the treasure. There is no condemnation or guilt here, I am just being real with you. All of us desire to live in our destiny but few of us do. Why? Many of our lives are littered with the lifestyle of taking two steps forward and three steps back. Why?

I am learning to be ok with being a human being not a human doing. Do I have pressures, obligations and invitations to go do this or that for the Kingdom? Yes of coarse, but If I am not doing things out of the overflow of my heart then it is a waste of Brian. If I am doing things in order to be validated by man and feel better about being me or if I think that by doing these things that I will be better liked by God then I have a problem.

I am not talking about not doing anything for anyone but I am talking about learning to live out of your destiny. What is the very thing that God has called you to do that you are excellent at? This then is where you pour your life into. For different people it will look very different because this is not a church or religious thing, this is a Kingdom thing and in the Kingdom everything has everything to do with everything!

These days I do not pour into peoples lives through doing things for them all that time. I pour into their lives by giving them me, the good, bad and ugly. Allowing myself to connect with them in my heart, stepping into openness and honesty with people and telling people how I feel not what I think about how I feel. I am learning to give my best to people and this can only come from my heart. I have given from my head, hands, and emotions for so long but this is superficial and can be fake.

I found myself doing all of these wonderful things for people but on the inside no one knew the real me, not even me. I desire to learn to live life from my heart not my head. So these days you will not find me out saving the world. I have retired my superman cape and desire to live from my heart. I pour me into those that are close to me and the ones that God brings across my path. I am very intentional about connecting with others from my heart and when this happens you release to someone more than knowledge, information, experience, advice or material possessions.

You release you, the good, bad and ugly. The most difficult part of all of this is not sharing yourself with others. It is learning to embrace the less loved parts of you and still know that you are a person of value and worth apart from what you do. Only the power of God can cause this kind of transformation in your heart.

5 Vocies in My Life

2011-10-11T07:29:00.002-04:00

We read in the bible that wine is produced in the cluster of grapes. One grape is crushed into another grape, repeatedly this happens until the finished product of wine comes forth. Wine is not made from one grape all by itself, it is made in a cluster. We are not created to do life alone with God! Yes, you heard me correct. We are not meant to do life alone with God! We are created to discover God in the people standing next to us and this is many times unpleasant in the process but the finished product is incredible. Please understand that I am not talking about your click of friends who you have everything in common with, I am not even talking about the group of friends that you hang out with at church and go to eat with every Sunday afternoon. God has hidden what you need inside the person that you most likely hate and can not stand to talk too.

In Mark 9:1-4 Jesus took several of His guys on a long journey up a mountain with no reasoning or explanation. Jesus says, hey you guys come with me. For hours they must have painfully climbed up that mountain. I would have been wondering, why am I doing this? Why does this hurt so bad, my legs, back and even my butt muscles hurt? Why does this not feel good? I thought that Jesus was suppose to make me feel better? Why has he asked me to follow Him through this difficult time of relationships with others on this hard hot journey to nowhere? I don not think Jesus knows were he is going so I need to take control and do what is best for me.

If you have ever been hiking or mountain climbing then you understand the value of having a buddy. This buddy is a blessing because he or she can save your life but they can also be a pain in the butt because they want to do things their way, just like you do, might I add. We learn to work with each other not against each other. We learn to put others first rather than stepping on top of everyone. We learn to be open and honest as we communicate our true feelings of weaknesses and strengths. Learning to function in relationships is to discover the heart of our Father God.

Jesus did not go up on the mountain alone. He took people with Him so that they could experience what He was experiencing. He desires to include us in on His encounters with our Father. They got to see Him transformed before their very eyes. Jesus wanted them to see this, He took them to the most unlikely place in order to have an unforgettable encounter. My focus is not on the journey of the difficult mountain but in the value of working together with other people for one common goal. When we work with others we get rubbed and crushed, relationships around you will reveal you to you and to others. This is part of the process of growth in the Kingdom of God.

I have at least 5 voices that speak to me on a regular basis, even daily. I take difficult journeys with them, I go to hard places with them. There are times where climbing Pikes Peak would be easier than facing a fear from 32 years ago. I am reminded that If I am willing to reveal myself to those I am called to then God will be revealed to me through them. It is the most uncomfortable thing one will ever do but the most beneficial. One of my guys brought me a prophetic word the other day and I did not agree with it nor like it but I saw truth in it so I submitted to that word and allowed that area of my heart to be opened. Since that time I have so much healing that area of my life.

Jesus takes us into uncomfortable situations so that we can experience unforgettable encounters!

Embracing Me As I Am

2011-10-09T08:00:00.003-04:00

Part of my reason for blogging this specific subject is to allow you to see me for who I am. I desire to learn to live from my heart and I am beginning to realize that in order to do that I have to give my heart. You can not live from something that you will share with no one. information, or advice but for you to see the Brian I see. I want you to know me on a deeper level than just the Brian everyone sees. I want to learn to trust people with my heart not just my soul. (meaning my mind, will, and emotions).

Please understand that I am not in condemnation, guilt nor feeling sorry for myself. I feel more loved than every before in all of my life. I feel accepted, cared for and more valuable than ever before. So I am just talking to you about what the Holy Spirit has caused me to see in my own life. I am going to use the word feel a whole lot because I do not have any other way to describe what I am experiencing in my life.

My passion for life right now is to learn to live from my heart. When the Holy Spirit first asked what my life would look like if I lived from my heart it startled me because I did not have an answer for Him. I have no idea what it looks like to live from my heart. I have never lived from my heart because I was too afraid to let people get close to it. The 12 year old boy in me could not allow someone the chance to hurt again.

The other day I was in the gym and was working out my abdominal muscles. It normally takes concentration to work that muscle group. As I was concentrating on that muscle group I became aware that those muscle where separate from all of my other muscles, I was only trying to work those muscles and no others. The Holy Spirit spoke to me and said that He was going to begin to teach me, I am made in three parts (Spirit, soul and body). He said that most of my life has been lived thinking that all of these are one but they are not. He said he was going to teach me to know when I am living from my spirit or heart, when I am living from my soul or mind, will, and emotions.

It has been several days now and I have already had several instances where I was very aware about what part of Brian was connecting with that person, place or thing. I want to learn to be all there when I am in a conversation, so many times I am there but not all there. Many people have the emotional Brian, the psychological Brian, the physical Brian, the mental part of Brian but not many people have ever experienced the heart of Brian. This is where I want to go.

It seems that I am learning that a lot of what I live from is the fear of rejection. I know that there is a little boy in me and he fears being rejected. As an older man I have gotten so good at playing like it is not there than now I actually think It is not a part of my life. I can claim victory in Jesus name all I want, I can look good in front of everyone else but at the end of the day it is not real inside of me. I have realized that it is a part of what motivates me to do the things I do and act the way I act.

I do not connect well with people in my heart. It does not matter how well you think you know the Brian you see. I am afraid to let people get close to my heart.

I let people get close to me emotionally, mentally and physiologically but not to my heart.

In my heart I still feel like the scared little boy who fears being rejected, shut down, ran over, left behind and not included.

I feel like I say things many times that I do not mean from my heart, I say them from my mental or my emotional being.

I try to help people because I feel sorry for them from my soul not because I connect with them in my heart.

I do everything I can to stop people from hurting, I want everyone to feel good and be happy. I have gotten so good at doing this in the name of ministry that I have almost destroyed the people that I love the most.

When I get in conflict I shut down and close up like a clam shell.

When people raise their voice at me I close up and dis connect from them, this is part of the reason I hate yelling. It makes me want to go somewhere else.

I am in the middle of God healing me, I am in the process of the most awesome thing in my life. Thank you for loving me the way I am.

Do you see Circles or Spots?

2011-09-11T08:32:00.002-04:00

When I look into my life I see myself as a circle not a spot. Circles can blend in with their surroundings, they are usually transparent so what you see is what you get. Circles have room to bring others into its environment.
Spots on the other hand don't do much but cover up space and blot out things. They usually are more noticeable than any other object. Spots usually get all the attention and do not leave room for others to be part of them.

Freedom from Guilt

2011-08-28T07:47:00.002-04:00

I was recently faced with a look into the mirror of the refection of the past from my life. You first must understand that I grew up in an environment where performance was key if survival was to be insured. I learned from a young age to find my identity in what I did not in who I was. Only until the last 5 years did I ever stop to ask myself who am I. God has been setting me free from performance and in the eyes of many people it seems that I am either lazy or uncaring.
Now, I roll forward time to this recent experience.
Our church just did a large community outreach event called Stop the Violence. I have dealt with guilt through most of this pre event planning stage as well as the actual event.
Why guilt you ask?
Didn't I do anything?
Did I participate?
Did I help?
Did I make efforts to support and promote the event?
Did I pray for those in the event and those that would / could be effected by the event?
The answer to all of the above questions is yes!
Yes!
Yes!
So why the guilt you ask?
Because I am so used to not trusting other people to carry out task and assignments. I am at core a micro manager who desires control. Yes, I want other people to help but I want them to do it my way. I am learning that Brian has an identity separate from what he does. Brian can function separate from who people think Brian should be. I am learning that I do not have to be the camellia who is always trying to always fit into my environment as a means of protection and identity. I am learning that the world does not revolve around me. For so many years I did things that appeared to be good and even godly but really I was trying to make Brian feel better about being Brian.
Over the past weeks I have been learning more and more to relax and rest in who I was created to be and to allow only the burdens which God has placed on my heart to be the ones which drive me with passion. The difficult part about this is that you will end up saying NO to so many things. So you may ask what is my passion?
In this season of my life here are my passions!
The healing of Brian spirit, soul and body.
To live out of LOVE not FEAR.
The restoration of my relationship with my wife.
Better balance with my family.
Desire to inter into more meaningful relationships which are governed and motivated by LOVE not performance, conditions, and manipulation.
Expressing openness, honesty and vulnerability in my relationships.
Beginning to tell people how I truly feel in LOVE and not lying to them in the name of protecting their feelings.
Bringing clean water to Brazil.
Bring healing to them that seek freedom.
Build a better balanced company as I learn to be a partner in our company.
Learning to do life with people because I want to not because I feel that I have too.
Now in view of what I just shared with you this is why guilt tries to work its way back into my life. As I am learning to live in a life of rest I constantly struggle with the feeling that I need to do something, I need to perform, the world will not be able to function if I do not do my part. The funny thing is that the world was functioning without me before I got and and will be when I leave. I only need to do my part which I know God has called me to do.
I am only responsible to do my part which God has specifically called me to do and that is what I am responsible for. This revelation fuels rest inside of me.

My Story

2011-08-21T07:00:00.002-04:00

There once was a little boy who dreamed of growing up and doing something special with his life. He would sit outside on warm summer days and dreamed of what it would feel like to make a difference. He would climb trees and as he leaned against upper branches in tree listening to the birds he would imagine what it would be like to help bring positive change into peoples lives.

The problem with dreaming these kind of dreams is that he felt so useless, worthless and unloved on the inside. He dreamed the impossible but could not see it due to his broken down inner reflection. He tried in so many ways to make himself feel better, he tried to fix the problem, he ran from it, hid from it and on rare occasions even tried to face it but nothing worked.

Night and day he continued to dream of helping others and making a difference but the most complicated obsticals still laid ahead of him in his pre teen years. His dreams were drug through the mud of broken relationships, through the muck of drug usage, through the hurricane force winds of unpredictable change yet one thing never changed. He still desired to somehow help other people become better.

One day he was on a long journey half way around the world and discovered something valuable. It was not wealth, fortune or fame. It looked so strange that he almost did not recognize it, he almost past by it and did not pick it up. As he stood there looking at this he also looked back through his life and re counted all the times he dreamed the dreams, wished the wishes and planned out what it would look like to bring change.

As I stood there looking at this dirty water in jungle of Brazil I realized this is what I have been called for, created for and prepared for. This is my dream, my story, and my life. This is the season in which everything has everything to do with everything!

We need to know what we KNOW

2011-07-10T08:41:00.002-04:00

So many of us in today's world think we know things that we do not know. What does to know even mean?
There are two schools of thought:
One is western which says that it is educational based, I know it because I heard it, memorized it, taught it or can talk about it.
The other is eastern which says that it is birthed out of an experience. I know this because I have experienced it first and therefore I know this to be true.
What do you know?
How do you know you know it?
We have to be very careful because it is very easy to live a deceived life, a life lived in such a way as to where I think that I know something that I do not or that I am something that I am not.

Hero

2011-06-26T08:32:00.002-04:00

Through my life I have had five hero's.
Growing up my Hero was Evil Knievel. I dressed like him, tried to jump like him and pretended to be like him. I lived for the impossible and wanted it even if I got hurt doing it.
As a teenager I wanted to be like Jeff Beliesle who was an incredible Master Chef. I worked for him and did most of my training under him or under people he placed me under in order to learn a certain type of food.
In my late teenage years I wanted to be like Al Capone. I wanted the life of ease, I wanted to give orders for people to go there and come here, I wanted the nice things of life and it did not matter who I hurt or how I got them.
In my late 20's I wanted to be like Jesus. He is currently still my primary Hero. He is the only Hero who has never let me down or lead me astray.
I also have another hero and his name is Bill Johnson. I love how this man has God flowing through him and many people get healed, delivered and set free through his desire to live like Jesus lived. I also love how his ministry is about raising up and empowering others to live and experience what Jesus said we would and could do.

Who Do I Think I Am

2011-04-17T08:30:00.003-04:00

I am a man who loves God and desires to see Him flow through me so that others can see that He is alive in the world around us.

I am a husband who loves my wife, we have a great connection together and deep understanding of each other because of what we have been through together. I love being her friend and raising our children with her as well as running our business together.

I am a father who loves his girls (all 5 of them) I love spending time with them and teaching them how to connect with God. I love watching them grown up and become woman of God who will love life, themselves, their husband, and one day their children.

I am a missionary who desires to see the jungle region of Brazil changed through living water and loving relationships.

I am a business man who enjoys being part of what God is doing through God's Care Lawnscapes. I love the relationships He brings us into and the jobs that we are able to do for His glory.

I am not a pastor, I am not a minister. I am a child of the Living God who has been birthed into a life of reconciliation and restoration. I desire to allow this to flow out of me and into everyone all the time everywhere I go. It is not a calling it is a life. It is not an anointing it is the nature of God on the inside of me desiring to change the world around me through me.

Thermometer vs Thermostat

2011-04-10T08:37:00.003-04:00

Am I like a thermometer? I would say no. I do have a temperature reading that others around me can read but I do not gauge my life based off of things around me, for instance. Many people in a spiritual movement will feel affirmed when they see God do something in some ones life through them. This is a form of reacting to something not because of something. Thermometers only tell the current temperature of the environment and that is it. They are constantly changing based on environmental circumstances. Am I like a Thermostat? Yes, I try to live like a thermostat. I try to set the standard for what happens around me. If I see that something needs to be done then I will go do it. I do not wait on someone else to step up to get it done. A thermostat will set the tone for the feeling of an environment like your house. I desire to set the temperature for the environment for all those that come in, around or near my house.

Get Naked

2011-04-03T08:27:00.002-04:00

A theme in my life for the past years has been relationships. Anyone who knows me knows this about me. I desire to be open, honest, transparent and vulnerable in all my relationships. In the beginning of this adventure God showed me that in the Garden of Eden Adam was hiding behind some shrubs or fig leaves trying to cover himself so that he would not be seen for who he was. He was a lire, a fake, a want to be man who was insecure, uncertain and untrustworthy. I realized quickly, hey that is me! I could easily be Adam. I lie and blame others for my faults and mistakes. I tell people that everything is OK with me when things are not OK with me. I hide from God and others because I am insecure and do not want them to see me who I really am. I will go out of my way to cover myself up so that no one will get close enough to me, because if they got close enough to me that may see me for who I really am and then they could reject me. What happened next in the story shook me to my core. God spoke to Adam to come out and show Him his nakedness. God was asking Adam to choose to step out into openness, honesty and vulnerability. God was not judging him, He was not accusing him and speaking harshly to him. God was trying to bring restoration and healing to him. Couldn't God just zap him and fix the problem? Yes He could but, God needed for Adam to own up to who he was so that God could transform him into who He is. The way we get transformed is through being vulnerable in our relationships and this causes tension. Most of us run from tension. We view tension as enemy number one. Tension as I have learned can be and most often is very beneficial if we allow it to do what it is designed to do. When you are vulnerable then this creates tension in the relationship, when tension is present then you are forced to make choices based out of love and trust not connivance and comfort. Many of us never cross the line of dysfunction into wholeness because of tension. When things get hard and tension is present we bolt for the door. This is what Adam did. We see in the story God speaking to Adam and looking for Adam to accept responsibility for what he had done. Tension was surrounding them, I imagine it was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. What was Adam going to do? Would he choose to be restored and healed or continue in the twisted darkness of his dysfunction?

Parking Spaces

2011-04-03T08:13:00.002-04:00

As I have been thinking about this topic for the past week I continue to think of the times that I go to the store. I am the kind of guy who parks in his on space. I like to park between the lines of the parking space. I am not the kind of guy who circles the parking lot like a vulture waiting for his next meal to be hit by a car so he can eat. I drive down one isle and park, if for some reason there is no place to park then I will turn and go down the next isle but on that one I will park even if it is at the far end of the parking lot. Time for me is to valuable, I do not have the time to spend driving up and down the isle of the parking lot looking for that perfect front and center parking spot. There are rare times when it happens to me and I do enjoy the short walk to the entrance of the store but it is not sweet enough to pursue it like the final goal that will win the game with 1 minute left. I am not the kind of guy who parks in the handicap spot thinking that I am just going to be in there for a minute or maybe I will limp as I exit the car going into the building. It is wrong and I do not do it. The last time I did it was years back and as I was coming out of the building there was an old, old, old man walking from 20 spots back because I was parked in the handicap spot. I was so ashamed that I kept walking past my car as not to be seen by him as he passed me by. My final thought was that he parked down at the end because he wanted the excersise so I walked down to where his car was and sure enough it had a label on the plates and rear view mirror. As I walked back to my care I told myself that will never happen again. I see parking lines in a parking lot as boundaries for life. If you ignore them you can get hurt, hurt others and greatly complicate life for others. Mind your own business, park in your own spot and life will go better.

Fish and Pond

2011-03-27T08:28:00.002-04:00

A great friend of mine were sitting down talking the other day and this thought came up. What would happen if we focused on three things in our lives, families, ministries and work environments. One Feed Others Fish This way others can have their needs meet, they can live and survive because they have food. Two Teach Others To Fish This way we are not only feeding them food but we are teaching them how to feed themselves and others with food. Three Fish From Your Own Pond This helps them learn to be responsible, they do not have to find someone to help them survive. They know how to budget money, manage finances and accept consequences.

Turning 40

2011-03-27T08:11:00.002-04:00

I recently turned 40. I do not feel any older, do not act any older and I do not look any older in my opinion but something has changed. I am thinking differently at this stage of my life. I have been asking myself if I realize that if I live to be 80 then my life is now half over. I am living the second half of my life. What am I going to do with it? I know that mistakes are part of it and that I will continue to make them until the day I die but I desire to minimize the amount of life changing mistakes that have laced the first half of my life. A man of knowledge will learn from his mistakes but a man of wisdom will learn from someone else's mistakes and not make them. I want to be a man of wisdom not just knowledge. I will make the time I have on earth the best years of my life. The second half will be better than the first half. My later years will be better than my first. Thank God that I have a great wife, awesome business partner, wonderful kids and a vision for where I am going in these next 40 years. God is so good to me and I thank Him for all that He is in and through me.

One thing for Everyone

2011-03-27T08:00:00.003-04:00

If there was one thing that I could do for everyone it would be to see them healed from the inside out spirit, soul and body. I see so many dysfunctions in people that are rooted in past wounds and lies. Most of us live lives of wearing mask and pretending that we are OK when we are not OK. We constantly lie to ourselves and to others telling ourselves that we are doing fine. Believers are the worst because they hide behind the cross as they pretend where as people of the world are jacked up and will sit down and tell you about it. As I writing this it is true, I want to see everyone healed up so they can live up to and out of the potential they were created to be but I also desire to see people have clean water. This might even be more important that the first desire because without clean water you have no need to have inner healing. Clean water is a necessity, being able to drink water that is not filled with bacteria, viruses, and germs is very important. Over one third of the world inhabitants suffer from unclean water. If you would like to partner with me in saving the world one drop at a time then go to livingwaterbrazil.org.

Fish Bowl or Fish

2011-03-27T07:51:00.002-04:00

Recently I was asked if I was more like a fish or a fish bowl. I quickly answerd that. I am like a fish bowl. This reason I am not a fish is because a fish swims around wanted to be feed and cleaned but a fish bowl provides an environment for other fish to produce, grow and expand life. I am not a consumer as much as I am a producer. I desire to see other people advance, get promoted, have good things happen to them. I love to see people get their next breakthrough. I actually get more satisfaction out of seeing someone climb higher than I do when I climb higher. I am like a container and everything in my container protects and provides for so the things in my container can grown, thrive and live. A consumer is always looking for more, More for them More for their needs More for their problems More for their future More so that they can be happy More so that they will not have as many problems I think in terms of more but not in terms of how I can get more for me! I am always looking for a way to help someone have their dreams come true.

Adjusting to Changes

2011-03-06T07:29:00.002-05:00

If only life would stay the same. Then we would not have to worry about changing and checking over our current coarse. As I think about what life would look like if it were the same I begin to realize it would become dull and boreing.
Learning to be flexable but not flaky in an ever changing world is difficult, we have to allow ourselves the room to bend yet not be broken. Their is a constant need for us to go back and re visit our current plan and direction.
I have been going through a lot of changes lately and will blog about them as I am able to sort them out in my heart and mind.

What could have been?

2011-02-06T08:32:00.002-05:00

The thought of this title draws me closer to an awesome awareness of God. I realize that I do not have to live under the umbrella of what could have been. I can live under the umbrella of provision and hope that God provides for me because He is bigger than all of my situational circumstances.
Apart from God I do not have to live tangled in the regrets of life, because He is making a way where there seems to be no way. I only have one regret from all the choices that I made and that is the regretful trail of debris that my past criminal record has left. After all these years I still have trouble getting certain jobs, I cannot go into certain professional fields of work and that bothers me.
Even in the middle of this memory I have shared with you I can rest in hope that God knew what I was going to do before I did it and a way has been made for me to prosper, be in good health and to have hope. Life is so full of many choices, many outcomes and many new beginnings. If I will embrace the process that I am in right now then the chances of me have regrets tomorrow decrease dramatically.
It is important not to abandon ship when the sea of life is rocky and foaming up things from the deep. Don't let the howl of the wind for the force of outside circumstances send you running from your giant rather than towards your giant. With out God I would say do what you can and hope for the best but with God all things are possible. You can embrace the process you are in with hope, honesty, love and integrity knowing that some one is on your side. You are not alone, the Creator of Heaven and Earth is wanting to release to you His fullness.

Difficult Part of Margin

2011-01-30T08:26:00.002-05:00

I have spent some time thinking about what the weakest area of my life is in reguards to margin. I found several things that did not line up but new I needed to look deeper. As more time passed I began to see a common thread that continues to surface in my life. I struggeled with this because in and of itself it is not a bad thing, it is actualy a good thing. I struggle with keeping the main thing the main thing.
What does this look like in my life? It is very sudtle, many times you do not even know that it is happening. I find myself getting so excieted about life, what I am good at, what i feel God has called me to do and what I want to do. At time I feel heavy because there is not enought time to do all the things that I want to do. What ends up happening over time is that I end up putting too much on my plate and get off track for where I really wanted to go.

Relationships

2011-01-23T08:13:00.003-05:00

It seems as though everywhere I go God is speaking to me about relationships. I hear it in my quiet time, see it in the world around me, and regularly engage in them. Things are different for me now in this area because use to I had relationships but none of them consisted of depth or meaning.
I am discovering more and more that it bothers me when I am wrong in my relationships. This is causing me to see that everything in the Kingdom of God functions and flows from relationships. I am so use to doing everything through rules, regulations, ministries, and programs.
It seems that everything I did had purpose but the purpose was to never value the person as a person, it was like I always had an agenda. Learning to honor people is learning to honor God because He is either in or around all people because we are His creation. As I begin to approach my relationships like this then this changes everything. I will be specific:
I see people as being valuable and meaning not less than
I see people as having worth and potential not hopeless
I see people as having real needs not just down and out
I judge people less because I have brokenness too
Being right at the expense of someone else is too be wrong
I see everyone as being an outlet that God could speak to me through
The realness of my relationship with God can be seen in my relationship with others
My effectiveness as a person increases when I live what I say rather than wanting others to live what I say but do not live

As I have been spending time with all of this over the past three years it has sparked a new thought in me over the past several months. One, is that I fail to accept blame every chance I get. I have achieved my masters degree in putting blame off on other people, objects and things. Two, is that I am passive aggressive in my responses with others so that I can avoid letting them get close to me because inside I am scared of getting either hurt or rejected. Three, is that I on my dysfunctional journey of do it myself found a way to apologize to other people when I am wrong for the way they feel about something I have said or did to them. This is like the masterpiece of avoidance, denial, and blame.
God is bringing healing to me everyday. Thank you Father for you love, devotion and acceptance.

Relationships

2011-01-16T07:10:00.002-05:00

It is so easy to have relationships in your life go wrong. I am talking about the small things like an attitude or a comment that is never talked about. It is amazing how fast these things can grow and the danger in not dealing with them is that you can actually grow apart rather than together.
This week I had three strong confrontational love meetings with people I am close to. Two of them was with friends who we had backed away from each other because of not being honest in the small things then the other was my dad. These were hard conversations to have but after it was done I felt so much better as well as seeing our relationship restored to a higher level of truth, openness, honesty and transparency.
I am so glad that God is teaching me about relationships.

Vision 2011

2011-01-09T08:19:00.002-05:00

In a world that is full of New Year Resolutions I make no resolutions, I make no promises, I make no vows and therefore I will rest in the freedom of not having guilt and condemnation loom over me like the peanuts cartoon character pigpen.
Every year I do all these things and feel so good about all the commitments I have made, my life is on track, I am eating better, I am in the gym, I am doing my bible studies, I am spending more time with my family, I am, I am,
I am........................................................................................................ for about 3o to 45 days.
Then the old Brian seems to rise up from the dusty floor of death. Wait a minute! I stand in shock as I realize that I am not gone, I thought he was gone, I made new commitments, I have made positive changes in my life so this can not be happening. Yet I slowly slip back into old routines, behaviors, thought patterns, habits and even those same attitudes that helped produce the effects of guilt and condemnation.
This year I do not want to change! I only seek God to reveal to me the issues in my heart that need to be changed and for Him to change them. I have deep rooted issues of judgement and un forgiveness that continually produces this uncomely fruit in my life. I am tired of picking fruit off the tree so that others can not see it. I have even grown more tired of painting my fruit in order to make bad looking fruit look good and smelly fruit no longer smell.
This year I fillet my life before God and wait for what surfaces, good, bad and ugly.

Resolve

2010-12-19T08:33:00.002-05:00

It is amazing that we are already at the end of another year. Time passes so quickly yet there is so much I want to do. One of the things that have been on my heart this past year is drawing closer to my family over the coarse of this coming year.
I find myself doing so many other things that are good yet at the root they pull me away from my family, they steal time away from my daughters, they drain my energy level to the point that during the late evening there is nothing left of me to give and most of all they separate me even further from tenderness with my wife. This seems to be a cycle that I have been in over the past years and it is time for me to get off the childlike merry go round.
I am not looking for a New Years Resolution. I am not looking for some quick change rapid fix thing in order to make me feel better about me being me. In times past I have made these resolutions simply because of two things. One, I was bored with my life and wanted to do something different and Two, everyone else around me was doing it.
I am looking for a way to be different, to act different and to produce different fruit in my life. In 2011 I will see results with my family being more connected but even more, my heart will be healed and changed in the area that it has been sick in.

Being Buisy

2010-12-12T08:53:00.002-05:00

Since October we have been installing lighting on homes and buisnesses. My hours had slowly increased more and more then pecked at Thanksgiving. It seems that several of the important things to me have fallen behind and blogging is one of them. I Had my first saturday that I did not have to work all day and it fealt great.

Thankfulness

2010-11-28T08:23:00.002-05:00

In this Holiday Season so many people exspress their thankfullness and gratitued only based out of the Holiday Season. I want to exspress my thankfullness beyond the boundaries of that. I want to dive to deeper depths and tell you that I am thankfull for people who speak truth into my life rather than giving me false lip service. I want to thank people who stick with me when the times of my life have gotten really rough. I want to thank people who have stayed with me when I have made mistakes and sometimes made them multiple times. I am thankful for God bringing me to the point in relationships where I can be open, honest and transparent. Being this to others has helped me step into true frendships and relationships. I consider relationships to be the most valueable thing I have.

A Moment In Time

2010-11-14T07:18:00.002-05:00

Throughout my life I see specific turning points of events which had crucial pivotal impacts on all of my life. We often think that small things do not matter, it is the large things you need to worry about.
A bible verse states that the small foxes spoil the vine. A vineyard can be destroyed easily by small harmless foxes when the grapes are tender on the vine.
Here is were the small foxes of my life started
one lie
one theft
one day of skipped school
one night of sneaking out of my window
one cigarette
one drink
first party
one hit of pot
one kiss which lead to a sexual encounter
one snort which lead to hard core drug usage
one dollar made from drug sales
All of this played into my moment in time.
On October 28, 1994 it was 10:02 and I had just finished breakfast. I thought I heard something outside so I went to look around. I did not see anything but heard this thumping noise behind me when I turned around there was a black assault helicopter with gun racks on either side hovering over the roof line of my house. There were two pilots and the one on the right side smiled at me then waved. I remember thing what a strange sight this was and that they were obviously lost. I heard something behind me again so turned around. I was shocked to see a swarm of FBI, DEA, Drug Task Force, Police, Sheriff, and even Narks that I spoke with regularly. They were all there to visit me, and it was not friendly. There was so much movement, so much yelling. It was like a blur of noise and activity, I was seriously discombobulated.
On this cool morning I was thrown to the ground on a gravel chat driveway with over 30 guns pointed at me. I was laying there on my stomach then started coughing because they had dropped my paper work of charges in front of me. I remember saying to myself, "That is as think as my Dads baptist study bible." Then I heard someone say, " We got you, you son of a bitch. Now, finally we can go back to having a life with our families since we will not be chasing you all over the country." Then a different voice said, " You have the right to remain silent, you have the right..." that was all I heard because I had already began another conversation.
This was a conversation with a man I had judged for years and whom I had ran from since I was 11 years old. I began to tell Him that I had really messed up my life and this time I did not see anyway to fix it. I then was taken back to 7 years old when I was in vacation bible school and I remembered hearing about giving my heart to Him and He would accept me just like I was and where I was.
So one that cool morning laying in the gravel with my hands cuffed behind my back while being read my rights, I was reading my rights to Jesus and giving my life to him. I felt Him come into my heart, I felt His presence in me for the first time in my life. I somehow knew that I was going to be ok. I had an inner peace along with feeling loved. For the first time in many years I did not hurt on the inside and this felt really good, especially since I was not high on drugs.
This is one of the greatest life changing moments in my life.

What Have I Stood For?

2010-11-07T08:05:00.002-05:00

I feel it is important for you to see behind me before you see me were I am today. Everything about yesterday has shaped me to be who I am today.

Most of my life I have lived as a want to be. I wanted to be someone famous, wanted to be someone important, wanted to be someone who was needed and valuable. Since this never unfolded in my life I dreamed it up inside so that I could live a self fulfilled fantasy of importance.

My life was laced with compromise, and stitched with performance. I kept myself closed off from others who would confront and complicate my life. I had the perfect fantasy life mapped out in my mind but struggled to live this type of life in a world of reality. I worked so hard to earn the approval of others and to be seen as productive person. All of this effort was channeled in such a way as to try to earn self worth in order to cover my cracked self esteem.

Today God has done such a work in me through Jesus. I have received the reality of the unconditional love and acceptance of the plan of my Father. I have died to guilt and condemnation that comes from trying to fullfill the law and be good enough for God. I have learned to rest in the work that God finished before the foundations of the world were complete. Because of where I am today I can now tell you what I stand for.

I stand for compassion in action for human life not the sidelines of sympathy.
I stand for the truth of God being felt and experienced not merely heard as head knowledge.
I stand for not teaching anything that I do not live myself.
I stand for personal life changing encounters with the living God.
I stand for the value of relationships which are lived out of honesty, truth, openness and vulnerability.
I stand for making wrongs right in love rather than digging wholes to cover the past.
I stand for Family unity.
I stand for living a transparent life everywhere, everyday and in every way.
I stand for one who hates to see others abused, miss used and taken advantage of.
I stand for one who does not like the side lines of life, I love to be in the middle of what God is doing in everyday life.
I stand for living your life in such a way as to know that others lives have been different because they encountered you.
I stand for roots of peoples lives being dealt with not the symptoms of problems.
I stand for one who loves to see who God created me to be through His Word and living it our in everyday life.
I stand for making the most of today because today may be the last day you have.
I stand for living a life with no regrets.
I stand for living a life that is drama free not problem free.
I stand for living life in such a way as to run towards the giants of life rather than away from them.
I stand for one who is aware that everything that I need in life has been given to me through God in Christ who lives in my heart.

House Cleaning Dream

2010-10-31T08:06:00.003-04:00

On Thursday October 28th I had another dream. It is a part two to the Down Hill Dream and is as follows:
I was in this house that had been destroyed by fire but was still standing. I was walking through it looking at the damage then went into this trophy / study room. The shelves were still in place from floor to ceiling, there were a lot of shelves in this room and they were filled with artifacts and things. Some could be identified but most could not. However, there was one thing that stood out to me as my eyes roamed over the burned remains. There was a snake that was on a shelf about waist high and it was particaly coiled up in the diameter size of a frisbee yet its head was raised up about 12 inches like a cobra would before it strikes its victim. It had its mouth open like it was going to strike but it almost looked more like a sneer, there were no fangs or teeth that I could see. He was preserved remarkably well, all his scales, markings, eyes and tongue were life like. He looked life like yet frozen, the really strange thing is that I felt like I knew this snake or that I had been in its presence before. It was almost like something had happened that ended his life quickly with out decay or maybe he had been preserved by one of the best taxidermist in the world. After seeing the graphic details of the snake I woke up. I was not afraid, worried or alarmed, I was just a little puzzled about what this all meant. After waking up I asked the HS what this all meant and he said that in the fire that occurred which was not obviously over everything had been destroyed and that it was time to clean everything out so that rebuilding could began. He said nothing the house of my heart was worth saving and He would rebuild it Himself. I asked Him about the snake and what that meant. He said that Satan was next to me and wanted to strike me but could not figure out how because he had no teeth to inject venom and I would not run off in fear so we were at a stand still next to each other. It is interesting that his only weapon was to intimidate me to run off and since I refused to be intimidated he could do nothing even thought he was right next to me.
I shared this with one of my close friends and he said it sounded like a pyroclastic cloud had hit the house.
Not ever hearing of this word caused me to go look it up. Here is the meaning:
Pyro - meaning intense fire or heat
Clastic - to be broken into pieces, rocks of pre existing matter, matter that is separated
So here is the interpretation of the dream that the Lord gave me.
He came to me in the night and in a cloud of His heat and fire of His love He caused everything in my heart to be burned, The rocks that I once stood on as foundations in my heart were now broken. I was unharmed by the intense heat and fire much like the Hebrew boys in the furnace of fire but the snake was instantly preserved like living things are when they are hit by a pyroclastic flow or cloud. I was spared but everything else was destroyed.

Down Hill Dream

2010-10-31T07:40:00.003-04:00

In August of 2009 on a Tuesday morning I woke up in the middle of the night with the following dream on my heart in full color:
I was in a God's Care truck at the top of this big hill and the truck was facing with its back towards the downward part of the hill. I was sitting in the middle and the driver got out and walked around to the front. He had left it running and in drive. Everything seemed to be ok until it started rolling backwards down the hill so I placed my left foot on the gas and the tires began to spin but the truck slowly kept going down the hill backwards. When I realized that was not working I put my left foot on the brake and held it but the truck continued to slide slowly down the hill backwards.
As I slid down the hill I did not have any anxiety nor fear, I never thought of moving over behind the drivers wheel to try to better control it. I was thinking to myself, i am going to just ride this out until I get to the bottom. It seemed like forever sliding down the hill because the truck was sliding slowly, it was not picking up speed and was not out of control. Finaly we hit an embankment at the bottom of the hill and there was a very hard jar as we hit, then the front of the truck lifted up so that I was pointed upwards toward the sky like a rocket. I stayed like this for a minute or two then the truck began to slowly tip backwards and rolled back into this small river at the bottom. The truck then began to sink so I climbed out and swam to the embankment and sat there watching my truck and all its equipment sink. It sank slowly also just like me coming down the hill but I sat there watching this with no fear, no anger, no anxiety, and no worries. The last thing I thought before waking up was, "Ok, the equipment I used to stay in business and provide for my family is gone, what will I do now God."

Over the past year my personal life, family life and business and ministry life has been sliding downhill slowly. Things have been coming unraveled, things breaking and blowing up for no reason. There was a point and time where I had no employees, and no equipment but one small mower and one edger. I was on this large property that it normally took us 30 minutes to service and now it was taking me almost 5 hours by myself thinking what is next. I was not hearing the voice of my Dad but I fealt this overshadowing peace that everything was alright. I wanted to jump out of the situation but rememberd my dream, stay in the truck and ride this out with God. He is with you and has a plan for you in this. After consulting with a friend one day they suggested to me to ask God what is next since everything has sunk.

My Story

2010-10-31T07:20:00.002-04:00

Most of my life has been lived laced with the threads of fear and performance. I trusted these threads would keep me together. I felt that if just one broke loose I would come undone. On the outside I looked colorful and put together but on the inside I was a mess. Jesus says not to put a new patch over a tear in a garment or else it will break loose. I have been repeatedly repairing the same tear for over 35 years until two and half years ago. Jesus revealed my heart to me. I began to see dark, ugly, sick roots filled with poison that were rooted deep in my heart. I asked Him to heal me and He has. I am living our of love not fear, I am learning to be open, honest, and transparent in all my relationships. I have entered a place of rest in my heart. I realize that I am accepted just as I am. I can not be good enough nor do enough to be good. I am good with God because He made me good. I am so free from feeling like I have to perform for love and acceptance and this releases me into a place of rest.
Thank You Jesus for my story.

Testing & Trials

2010-10-10T07:12:00.005-04:00

I think of how many times the following scripture has been used in our own lives as well as to help give order and meaning to someones life. Two primary things stand out in this passage that many of us focus on when it pertains to crisis, pain, bad choices, bad luck, discipline or whatever else you want to call it, I would like to call this, just LIFE!

1 Co 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

1. We Try To Escape It

We somehow translate the fact that we will not be tempted beyond what we can handle and mix it up with the thought that He does not want us to go thought anything hurtful. We try to avoid pain because it connects us with out own brokenness that we have not allowed to be healed in our own life. So rather than allowing God to heal us, we try to use Him in order to get out of uncomfortable situations so we do not have to deal with our own issues. The very heart of God is connect with you in the depth of your heart so you can have a real relationship based out of love and truth with Him.

2. We Pitch A Tent Live In It

We bear up under it in order to go through it then begin to live in it and slowly allow it to become our identity. Many of us have spent our 40 plus years in the wilderness for no reason. We hold onto pain and memories from years in the past, we live in what could have and should have been but the reality is that the past is in the past. Many of us have adopted a martar mentality style of living while justifying it in the fact that we are called to suffer in this life just like Christ did. We somehow think that Jesus was always sad, hurting, and suffering but fail to see that he played, laughed, and loved. The root of this mentality is that we think if we do enough for Him or suffer enough for Him then we will be accepted by Him.
I am thinking of a passage that says it is not by our works but by His work on the cross that made us accepted and forgiven.

I would like to purpose a third primary thing in this for you to think about.

3. Go Through It
The passage says that everything common to man will come our way because we are human but He is faithful, He is watchful, He is all knowing, He is all seeing and He is working everything out in your life for your good.
Well if God is good then why do I have to suffer?
I do not know.
But from my most recent season in the wilderness of pain and suffering which I went into 12 months ago it was not because of something I did or did not do. Not everyone deserves what they are going through in life, just food for thought.
Abraham was told to take his promise son to the top of a mountain to kill him. Did God want him dead? Or was God wanting Abraham to be willing to place God at a higher place of importance in his heart than his son? We have some friends who have a child and this child is everything to them, it almost makes me sick at times because the child can't do anything for himself and doesn't need too because he has parents that do it for him.
I am learning that there are things in our life that we need to be separated from because if we continue to hold on to them they will kill us. We need to learn to just go through things, not run from them and not camp out in them but allow the process of Life to take place in us so that we can grow up and become mature and complete not lacking anything and not easily tossed back and forth in this life.

Personal Reflection
The truth that I am learning is that some chaos has no meaning. It is simply what it is CHAOS. I know what I have desired most in the recent season of chaos and pain is for someone to come and just sit down with me me and shut up. Not for them to lend a hand, money, provisions, and exspecialy advise.
Let me be me, let me cry, let me vent, let me yell, let me ramble, let me then discover acceptance and then stand back up in faith to continue my journey. I needed to be allowed to sling dirt around from the confusing hole of my life as I search for precious valuables in the middle of the most humbling, dirty time of my life.
Sometimes we are looking for life lines to be dropped down into our hole so that we can get out but maybe there was a reason we where in that hole? Maybe there was something we where suppose to see, feel, hear or think about that would change the coarse of our life? Maybe there was a relationship that would be made in the middle of this that would change the very coarse of our life?

Drive By Shooter
There should be some kind of law against Christian drive buy shootings, we have laws to prevent that on earth so why not in for the church. Come on now, you know you have done it or at least thought about it. Allow me to set the stage:
You are living your orderly good life, making all the right choices, feeling good about yourself and all your ducks are lined up then you one day pass someone who is having trouble, their lives don't line up with right living.
You begin to think to yourself.
What did they do in order to deserve that?
They must have made some bad choices.
Maybe they pissed God off and He is teaching them a lesson.
I am sure glad that is not me you say but then you realize that God in you wants to extend a hand of compassion and love in order to aid in comforting them because this is what Christians are suppose to do. Right?
So here we are at the crossroads of conviction and action for this person. What are we going to do? What should we do? What do we end up doing?
Many times we pull a scripture out of our vacation bible school brain and load the spiritual gun of our mouth then fire away as we drive away in the vehicle of love. How many times do we use the Word of God and the Love of God as a means of justification in order to get away and disconnect with relationships rather than parking the car and getting out in order to get dirty with that person, even in their CHAOS.
What would happen if we pulled the car over rather than rolling down the window and throwing food or money at the homeless.
Stop!
Get Out!
Sit down and eat your lunch with them. Get dirty with them. Let them talk without the interruption of your wealth of abundant knowledge that has made your life so good and perfect. Sometimes life is just what it is, LIFE. I do not understand it but I know this one thing. God is good all the time and everything He is doing in my life and yours is for out good, not to harm us but to give us hope and plans for our future.

Fasting vs Feasting

2010-10-08T05:12:00.001-04:00

We often think that the more we do without the closer to God we are. What do we do with the fact that God says He will prepair a table for us in the presence of our enemies?

You can tell the size of the man by the size of the problem that it takes to fustrate that man.

You can not truely live until you face death. Only true life can be found in true death. The dogs of doom always stand at the doors of destiny. We need to be willing to die trying. What do you love? What are you passionate about? These dogs have no teeth but they bark loud as hell. Only when we come to the point to where we have nothing left to lose can we break free from fear. Whatever it is you are called to do is what you are most fearful of and you must go through the dogs of doomed, only when you face them can you partake in the hiden treasures. Even video games show us that as we kill our enemies we grow stronger so that over time we will accept responsibilty to kill our Goliath. The devil is not your problem he is your opportunity!

The people asked for a King and God found the best man he could. Saul had never faced trials until he was King. David on the other hand had private victories before he had his public presentation. there is always a wilderness before the promise land but that does not mean it is suppose to be 40 years. You can not make it shorter but you can make it longer. the 17 day journey took 40 years. Part of battle is learning to deal with our brothers becasue this reflects our identiy. Our brothers can teach us how big we are on the inside, but this can only happen when we face them and deal with them. If you are going to kill a giant you will not do it the way you were taught, Saul tired to tell David to do the way he would do it and David said that would not work. David was telling Saul, I have not had any trials in these so i am not comfortable in them. Be true to ourselves and do it the way God wants to do it inside of you. You get victories when you learn to be the real you, take off all the mask and performance models and be you. Most of us are so afraid to be the real us, we run from the real us because the real us is found on the other side of what we fear the most.

Genetic Cloning Started in the Church

Unity is not conformity but the celebration of diversity. If you are different we throw you back in the test tube so you can try it again, you need to look like everyone else. They look like a test tube when they are finished. Most of us have a born again test tube exsperience. there is only one way to worship, one way to live life, our leader does it like this. Our fellowship functions are a neat freezer exsperience.

God is the most emotion being in the bible, when he loves it kills Him.

Before you can fight a Giant you must go through your brothers. Look at David in 1 Sam 17. Moses had to deal with his brothers before he could be the deliver. One reason we do not make changes that change histroy is because we reduce our down so that they will be smaller than us so that we feel better about our own life.

Identity

Some peoples identilty is in their crisis rather than their Christ. Jesus and the man at the pool of Bethesna and the man never answers him, he simply gave excusses as to why he can't get in. this man has no name, Why? His name was wrapped up in his crisis so we know him as the lame man. Something is always happening somewere else. Jesus gave him responsiblity to get up and take up his pallet and this stepped

You can tell how close you are to the palace by how you deal with injustice. Are you facing responsibily or are you hiding in the luggage?

A Time for Everything

2010-10-03T07:37:00.002-04:00

There is believe it or not a time to be direct with situations and relationships. We think that love never speaks up, love always allows someone to use us as a doormat but that is not true. Love is the best example of true confrontation in relationships as well as speaking your heart in truth. It means you share you heart even if it hurts. The hardest thing about love is that true love sends you into relationships so that you can see you and who you are so that God can work on you but we often miss that because we are wanting God to change everyone else to think and act like us.

Brazil

2010-09-19T11:10:00.002-04:00

The village we are in now has an internet connection so I thought I would take some time and blog my heart.
God is continueing to empty me of religious, legalistic rules, and perfrmance programs. He is filling me with a deeper understanding of His love and acceptance for me just as I am. There is such a peace and rest in my heart which overflows into my life.
You may be thinking, well if I was in Brazil I would be at rest too. What you dont understand is that after my last communication with my wife I do not even know if I will come back to a buisness that is still standing. We had major mechanical problems and have lost equipment because of it, we have had people leave the company and news ones be hired with no training because I am not there. We have clients that are upset and checks from clients that have bounced which causes our accounts to come up short. Our primary source of income seems to be falling apart but I am at peace and rest.
In times like these we realize what kind of relationship we truely have. Religious rules can not produce for you character, peace and rest in the middle of the valley of the shadow of death. He has provided for me a table in the presence of my dark situation and I am enjoying the meal of His peace and rest.
Chow

Leaving A Legacy

2010-09-12T08:28:00.002-04:00

I have always thought of leaving a legacy in the aspect of a will or last testament but realize it is much more than that. In everyday life we are creating things because this is what we were created to do. We all fortunately un -fortunately will spend out lives creating things then we will all die. What will be left behind? and for who?

My wife
I have created the feeling in her that she was loved for who she is and that there are no strings attached. She knows what it is life to be loved for who she is not what she can do for me. I have created a family that loves her and will help her. I have created a will that will pay off debts and her bills when I am gone. I have created children that will grown old with her when I am gone. I have created memories with her that will forever shape the direction of her life. I have created a business that could be sold or ran and this would bring in a pretty good living.

Salem & Raina
I have created a spot in her heart that is filled with love, she knows that she is valuable and worthy. I have taught her how to do things that will last a lifetime. I have helped give her identity. I have helped her know that she is provided for. I created in her a feeling of protection in her because she knows that with me she is safe. I have lead in into a personal relationship with the Trinity. She has learned to hear the Holy Spirit and respond to what He is saying to her. I have created in her a place that always makes room for other people and places value on them.

Korie & Larrah
I have created in them a feeling of being loved for who they are not for what they can do. They know that someone helped them and was on their side. They have both seen me change through God and this has created in them a first hand experience that God is in the business of changing lives. I have created in them a place were they will be proud to publicly say this was my dad and he was a great man.

Inner Circle
I have created in them the mark of transparency to where they know that life does not have to be filled with emotional games but truth and realness. I have an created an ability for them to connect with others more easily and allow them to connect with me and others as well.

Family
I have created a before and after snapshot of how God can take a human life all jacked up and turn it around from the inside out.

Kingdom
I have created a difference in the kingdom of God because of the choices I have made and lives that have been touched and changed. Heaven looks different because of how I choose to live my life. Brazil is different because of choices I have made and sacrifices I was willing to make on behalf of humanity.

What do you do about that?

2010-09-05T07:38:00.002-04:00

As i have thought about it this week i realize this is our response. How do I respond to things, situations, people and issues. Most of the determining factors of my life will come from the response of what I do in a given situation, Not the Situation Itself.
I always thought it was about what happens to you or what someone else did but the older I get the more I believe it is what I chose to do with life that determines what happens in my future. What I do about stuff is choose to rest first and foremost.
I do not get bent out of shape or fly off the handle. I want to hear the voice of my dad and what heaven is saying about it then do what I hear or see Him doing. If I don't hear anything then I go on with what I think is best and once I can do all that I can do it is no longer in my hands. If people get upset it is not my problem.
I must know in all circumstances that I have done all that I can do and once I can answer that then I can rest in knowing I have done all I can do.

Joy

2010-08-29T07:58:00.002-04:00

As I grow older I find myself measuring life by waht is, what could be and what used to be. As I think about joy I look back and think of how conditional it was. As long as things were going good there was joy, things are going my way, people approve of what I am doing and where I am going in life.
Now I see that joy is so not conditional. I can have joy while going through the worst year of business we have ever had, while things are tough in relationships that I value, while I not seeing happen in my life what I think should be happening with God. As I look at Joy I realize the key difference between then and now is that my relationship with God was based out of doing. Now it is based out of being. This causes me to rest in knowing that I do not have to be anything for God, I don't have to act right, do right, say the right things, follow certain commandments, fulfill certain expectations, all I have to do is be with Him and in Him and allow Him to do His work in me which causes me to have joy in all situations.
Are there times where I may be happier or have more joy than others? of coarse, but there is consistence and balance over all. The way I enter joy is to realize first of all that it is mine as a free gift no strings attached. I receive it and make it mine then desire to experience it and live it. As I taste it on different levels and in different situations it gets rooted deeper and deeper in my heart (not my head) how real this is.
I desire to grow in joy and see it become more of apart of me. I desire to see it overflow into even more areas of my life. I want to know more of God in the area of Joy.

2010-08-06T06:45:00.002-04:00

When I look at the way my 7 year old acts it makes me laugh because many adults that I know act much the same way. We push the envelope in order to get what we think we want then when we get it we do not really want it. It is like we just wanted to see if we could get it or not.
There is in us a drive to push for more, we want more, we want to do more, see more, get more, have more and then there is the hard core want. We want to be more and do more with our life. Getting ahead in life is part of life and I will be the first to tell you that I love to advance in life but I also love to rest. I love to relax, I love to not have to perform and act certain ways in order to get certain things.
This is a lifestyle not a kick, I have been living in rest for over a year now and love it. I do not have days that my over active adrenalin rush keeps me going, or that I can not sleep at night because there is too much too do. I realize that I may not get as much done as someone else but I am good with that. I am able to rest and this makes me happier, redirects more energy towards important things like my family, helps me feel better, helps me see more around me, makes my physical body feel better and enhances my relationship with my Dad.

Rest is the Key to Restoration and Rejuvination

2010-07-28T09:23:00.002-04:00

As I have been in a long season of rest I am begining to see the cocoon open. I know that I will soon fly like I was created to. I see that I was not created to be a catapillar who slowly trudges through life never seemingly getting anywhere all the while dodgeing this person or situation while tryign not to be stepped on.
I have spent so much time and energy out of my life trying to not be truely conected with people because I did not what to be vulnerable or intaminate with them. Deep down I knew this would cause me to get hurt or worse yet. They would see the real me. As I over the past two years have been removing fig leaves in front of several people as well as God I am learning that I am very comfortable being open, honest, vulnerable, and intimate with others. I find that the walls I used to hide behind are now gone and there is a larger space in my heart in which I am able to connect with God and His people.
This revelation has brought much freedom to my life and helps live in rest in so many areas of my life. Everything has everything to do with EVERYTHING.
I have learned what I am not called to do as well as what I am called to do. Knowing what I am good at, gifted at, passionate at and anointed to do is the secret of learning to live in rest as well as minister in rest. For the first time in my life as I venture back out into ministry I am doing it out of a heart of rest not one of performance. The ministry that God has placed in my heart flows so well with what I am called to do.
It has been a long journey, one filled with pain, heartache and frustration but now I see joy, peace, rest, love and calmness like I have never experienced in my life.

What

2010-07-11T21:29:00.002-04:00

I am passonate about children being treated fairly, about families staying together, about humans not being abused. I am very passionate about people being healed from internal wounds and lies that they live under all the while thinking that there sin is what makes them so bad. It is really the wounds that they have that magnifies the sin in their lives. I am passionate about flying airplanes as well as connecting with the Holy Spirit.
God has put me in a season that consumes me with people being healed, delivered and set free. I realize that I do not have the answers to many problems but God does and it I can help people connect with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit then they will work out healing in the individual persons life.
What breaks my heart is to see people trapped in a life style of living and for them to feel like there is no hope and no way out.
I am uniquely called and equiped to lead people into an exsperience with the Holy Spirit that causes them to be set free, delivered, healed and made whole.

Change

2010-07-03T07:35:00.002-04:00

I would be the first to agree with you that change is good. Change opens up new opportunities for you that other wise would not have been noticed. Change gives you a fresh perspective on life as well as situations you may be facing.
However, change is difficult, uncomfortable, new, uncertain, and often times a little scary. It is funny how we like to get into our little groove of doing things and do not want to change. Many of us get to the point were we do not feel we need to change and if we stay there long enough we will begin to believe we do not ever need to change, it is others around us that need to change.
I do not ever want to get to a point like this and I know a handful of people who are like this. Lord, help me to embrace change, help me to run to new things not away from them. I invite new things, new perspective, new adventure, and new insight into my life even if the new things reveals to me that I was going a wrong direction.

Do You Have Squatters?

2010-05-02T08:21:00.002-04:00

The are of our land, the place we live and dwell is not an accident. I believe God has placed each of us in the place we are in order to bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth. For me Abilene and Brazil is my territory, it is the place I have been called to take possesion of and to have dominon over. I am called to bring God's Kingdom in these areas. However, I am not the only one with plans for this land and this is were the problem starts.

God has had me asking myself lately if I have spiritual squatters in my life? Squatting is the oldest mode of tenure in the world and we are all descendands of squatting. The book I am reading is called Portals to Cleansing by Dr. Henry Malone. In its simplicity squatting is defined as by dictionary.com in two forms:
1. a person who settles on land or occupies property without title, right, or payment of rent.
2. a person who settles on land under goverment regulation, in order to acquire title.

We are called to have dominion over the land or our territory. By us not seeing a value in land we miss the value of what sits ontop of the land therefore we miss the reason things function the way they do. I have been asking myself where has the devil and his evil prescence moved into my area of influence, land and territory at? He is trying to earn possesion of something he does not have right too and I have allowed him to have access to areas of my life.

The thing about squatting is that the longer someone stays on the land, property or building the better the chances are that they will assume ownership of it. Think of it this way. If you were active in the ownership of something you would not allow someone else to move in and live there would you? For the fact that we are not involved in the ownership of our land, possesions, body, family, house, church, city, state and country we therefore are allowing a squatter to come in with the intention of aquiring ownership.

We Create Our Tommorows Today

2010-01-06T06:51:00.003-05:00

This is a decree that I am going to begin to release over my life and the lives of those I have influence over. It is found in Isaiah 49 from the NIV.
Verse 1
Listen to me, you islands; hear this, you distant nations: Before I was born the Lord called me; from my birth he has made mention of my name.
Islands

I can identify with the feeling of being an island, all by myself, disconnected from things around me, islands in fiction seem to be the ultimate get away paradise but in real life they can cause you to go crazy as well as limiting you from all kinds of opportunities, resources and basic needs. I am thinking of the Tom Hanks movie when he was stranded on an island and his friend was a ball whom he named. He talked to this ball the whole movie then when he lost the ball in his effort to break free form the island he was deeply saddened.
Nations

Distant nations seems to hit right at home with me as well. As I was in Brazil for the first time I was so cut off because of language barriers as well as difference in culture. However, all the environments around me were teaming with life. It is difficult to be in the middle of life but to not feel a part of or be connected with that life. It is almost like you are alive but living in a glass box. Most of my life has been lived like this. In the town,, state and country I was born into you would think I would feel right at home but I did not. Most of my life I felt like a distant nation in a foreign land while living in the only land I knew.

Lord Called Me & Know Me

What a turmoil to live in but the Lord called me before I was born and at my birth He made mention of my name. To know that the creator of the universe knows my name floods my soul with hope and confidence. If He knows my name then He knows me, my likes, needs, wants, hopes and dreams but even more than that He knows what He has planed for me and what He has called me to do in His universe. He has His eye on me and knowing that He plans only good for me carries more value and weight in my life than that of feeling like an island and distant nation. God through Jesus provided a way for me to come home. Jesus was ship that rescued me at sea, He was the plane that flew me back home, He rescued that stranded island and He was the one who unlocked the glass box so I could begin to function in the world around me and connect with it as it connected with me.

Verse 2
He made my mouth like a sharpened sword. in the shadow of his hand he hid me: he made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in his quiver.

Sharpened Sword

God has called me to be somebody and to do something so he has equiped me with tools. One of them is a sharpened sword in my mouth. Everything that comes out of my mouth is a direct reflection of the condition of my heart and since Jesus lives in my heart and I am therefore motivated by His desires, thoughts and ambitions. I have the ability to release God from the inside of me so others can exsperience Him too. As He casued none of Samules words to fall to the ground I ask the same thing in my life.
Shadow of His Hand

I have been in God's hand and I am ever before Him. He knows my every move and thought before I do them or think them. Is 49:16 states that we are ever before God and He has me engraved on the palm of His hand. As I look at my hands I see thousands of small lines and cracks which make up my fingerprints, these uniquley tell the story of who I am and where I come from. Gods hands are so big that His creation makes up the fingerprints of His very being, thus telling the story of creation. Why would he hide me in the shadow of His hand? He was not ashamed of me. I feel it was for a season where He privately was shaping and molding me into the person He had called me to be back before my birth and that was part of what He was mentioning at my birth.

Polished

It is interesting that this peice of metal is not tarnished, rusted or wharped, it is polished. I have in my mind a piece of metal that a skilled craftsman has been grinding, shaping, sharpening then polishing. I can visualize this craftsman quietly sitting at his work area away from the hussle and bussle of everyday life. He removes the arrow from the grinding wheel and polishing brush in order to inspect it and as he twist and turns the polished arrow lookinf at it from all sides you can see the reflection of the craftsman in the craftsman creation. As we pull arrows from our quiver and load into our bow we should inspect them know ing that as we do we will see our own refection in what we are about to do, this mirror relection from the polished arrow should case us to take greater care of where we aim. It is interesting that in Ephesians 6: the enemy dips his arrows in thick molten fire that globs on the end of it before he shoots them. Why does he do this? Is it not enought to shoot someone with an arrow? I believe this protects him from seeing his own relfection of who he was created to be by the master craftsman. He does this because if he saw his current reflection of who he is versus who he was created to be it would further remind him of who deep the rebellion in his heart is, as well as how seperated from God he is. Since there is no room for repentance the angy heart rages even more as he stives to stay clear from the reflection of God who he was created to be like. He does this by attacking the very thing that creates the reflection. It would be like God being the creator of glass of any sort, we rebell agaist and detest the very substance of glass because in its relfection we see our creator which is a reminder of what we rebelled against so in order to not look into any glass of any kind we break everything we can get out hands on, just to avoid seeing our own relfection.

Arrow

The arrows that we draw from the quiver of our heart should be shot in the direction and with the entention of the creating craftsman. His work should be reflected in every thing we say and do. Arrows were used in battle throughout histroy to be released from the bow and effect the target it was aimed at, people were saved and others killed by arrows. In todays launguage the practicality of arrows still apply. In Jerimiah 9:8 it states that thier tongue is like a deadly arrow, it speaks with deciet. With his mouth he speaks nice to his neighbor but in his heart he sets a trap for him. Our voice is the bow that releases the arrow which is our words which in turn carries with it life or death to were it is aimed. In Ephesians 6: it states that our shield of faith quenches all the firely darts or arrows that the evil one shoots at us.
I am your servant so display your splendor through so that I can bring glory to the Father through Jesus name.
I have chased after other things, things that do not fill me up with life. I have wasted my strength in vain so in the heart of repentance I recieve from the Lords hand. I recieve my rewards from you Father.

2010-01-02T12:58:00.004-05:00

I have been soaking in something that God is breathing into my spirit lately. There are two seasons that we as believers function in.

Season of Hibernation
In this season we are active in a state of rest. Not much is going on in our lives. We may not feel very productive or benifical to those around us but do not under estimate this season.
Example:Plants grow the most during the winter. Why? During the winter all the energy of the plant is underground establishing deep root systems. With out this season of growth the plant will not be able to sustain during the active growing season of blooming.
When we do not allow for seasons of Rest to come to our lives we shorten the depth of the root systems that God is trying to develope in us so that we are truely strong, even in storms. It has been my exspierience that in this season God births things in you that you can not recieve any other way. You can not work for it, earn it, nor do you deserve it but through Jesus you get it by Resting in Him.

Season of Blooming
During this season we are active in growth, we are doing things and producing a lot of fruit. Scripture says that the faith is forceful and the violent take it by force. Our faith in action is violent b/c when we use it, it by nature pulls down darkness and destroys strongholds on peoples lives. In order for someone to get a breakthrough of any kind they are getting broken free from something. How do you get a breakthough with out getting broken free? The very thought of you needing a breakthrough suggest you are in bondage thus needing help. The violent part of this is not a bloody battle but it is that through the blood of Jesus shed for us over 2000 years ago we can stand in the authority of Jesus and command that strongholds be broken and captive be released thus satan has to submitt to our commandment of authority bc it lines up with the will, purpose, and plan of God in His Kingdom.

We need both of these seasons in our lives. There is a time to grown and go then there is a time to sit quietly and recieve. I was asking myself the other day what the difference between complacency and rest was and this is what God showed me.

When you are in a time of rest it will feel like you are being complacent but do not be decieved into thinking that you are. The way you can tell the difference is that when you are in a time of REST I will be speaking something into you and when you are in a time of complacency I will not. If you are being complacent then you will be setting around in the name of REST but you will not find me in anything that you are doing. Complacency has no productivity to it but REST does!

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2010-01-02T12:55:00.000-05:00

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Relationships

2009-12-03T06:26:00.003-05:00

Most of what we need in life will be brought to us but what we want we have to go get.

We need to know the seasons in our life, this is wisdom. There are seasons to rest and one to grow and go. Many of us want to coast through life riding on someone elses coat tail. We want them to make a way for us so that we do not have to. It is fortunate yet un fortunate for us that what we express in our lives on earth is reflected in heaven as a staple school of thought.
We want God to do something for us but we do not want Him to involve others in it. We want Him and Him alone.
Just you and me God.
With God I do not need anyone else.
He will meet all my needs.
He will see me through.
He is all I need.
I remember a time in my life when I lived like this, this was me. I was fustrated with God because I fealt like He was giving me the short end of the stick. I was not getting what I wanted and I was seeing others getting things that I was asking for and fealt I needed.

Think On This:
He places us in positions to rejoice with those who rejoice and morn with those who morn because it is in those times that we can appriciate what others have, are recieving, and what they are going through. Connecting with humanity and placing others ahead of you is what the Kingdom of God is all about.

Many times you will get your breakthrough while rejoicing or mourning with someone else in thiers. Everything in the Kingdom of God hinges off of relationships which in biblical terms is LOVE...

It is interesting how many times we want this or that and do not get it but the person across the hall, across the street, across the pew or across town does get what you want. Many times we get fustrated because they got what we wanted and what we thought we deserved but they didn't. Ha. We say we love God yet we hate our neighbor (hate - treat as less than or to treat with contempt) yet we say we love God?

The Realm of the Kingdom of Heaven always produces manifestations of itself as it connects with the realm of the kingdom of earth. This is what the bible calls signs and wonders, heaven causes us to wonder about the signs and impressions that it leaves on earth as it connects with it thus it's intention is to awaken us to its reality and lead us to the creater and owner of that Kingdom.

Lab Exsperiment:
Think of what you want and find someone else who wants or needs that then begin to help them get what they want or need and watch what happens.

Resting in God Produces Fruit

2009-10-29T05:51:00.002-04:00

I was lead to passage of scripture the other day that I have read many times but have never seen it in the light of rest. It seems that since God has spiritualy crucified me with Him I have been able to enter into His rest and now I see through the eyes of rest rather than the eyes of performance.

I Corinthians 2: 1-5
When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power.

Greek word study
eloquence - excellence, elevation, superiority, authority
superior wisdom - intelligence, knowledge, all learning, management of affairs, being able to impart spiritual truth
testimony - secret, mystery, hidden things, not obvious to the understanding, secret will, hidden purpose or counsel
persuasive words - enticing through mental intelligence, ability to persuade
demonstration - manifestation, prove to be true, establish with fact, to show off
power - strength, ability, miraculous power, explosive force
faith - assurance through persuasion, convictions, system of religious truth, belief system,
might not rest - exist, to be present, to happen
mans wisdom - intelligence, knowledge, all learning, management of affairs, being able to impart spiritual truth
power - strength, ability, miraculous power, explosive force
God - trinity

Paul was a leader of the religious law and had a top notch education, he was one of the best of the best. Today he would be in the whose who of society but after God came into his life and Paul entered His rest everything changed. Jesus taught Paul how to enter into the secret place of God's rest and we see this manifesting itself in this letter to the church at Corinth.

Paul did not choose to come to these people with things he learned through his efforts, his learning, his education, his religious training, his talents, his abilities, his capabilities, his experience, his position, his authority or even his divine revelations from Jesus.

So then what is left? Paul emptied himself of everything that was him. So what was left? What did he have left to give? What would other people want from him since he had nothing to offer them? No wonder Paul was was afraid and nervous when he went to them. He had been emptied of all the things that made him who he was through resting in God. God was the only thing alive in Paul and he was so at rest that he did not want to use his abilities, talents and authority to develop faith in these people.

So what was going to change these people if Paul did not have a plan, a motive, a ten step process of soaking in worship, a five step prayer process in order to connect with God or an awesome three point message that would position the people of God in a place to receive power from God.

Rest seems so wimpy yet is so powerful.
Rest appears to be so uneventful but is incredibly full and overflowing.
Rest seems to be a waste of time yet increases times potential.
Rest appears to make you miss out on the world around you yet it actually connects you with it in a more power way because of the powerful spiritual connection you bring to it.

What was Paul's secret?
What was the secrete that God had showed him that created the potential in him to have God flow through him in the demonstration of God's power without any effort?
Was it that Paul was so well liked by God?
Did Paul have a higher calling on his life so God showed him more favor because of that calling?

Here is the simple answer.

Paul entered into the rest of God by faith on a daily basis until it became a lifestyle and identity. He realized that living in God's rest is the high calling of our salvation. Therefore, he began to live from God not for God.

As Paul rested in God through Christ he simply did whatever God told or showed him to do. Paul was released from all the rules and regulations of the religious law and the demanding world. Paul was set free from the desire to please God based on his own efforts and to change the people of God based on his performance in spiritual truth. Rest will always lead us into action but not into human effort and performance.

Paul said the only thing I did was come to you with the demonstration of the power of God. Paul in rest went to them and did what God showed or told him to do then God manifested His Kingdom on earth and lives were changed which caused people to give there hearts to Him and place there faith in Him.

The coolest thing about this is not what happened while Paul was there but what happened after Paul had left.

The people relied on or trusted in God's power and God's ability to do what no one else on earth could do for them. In self reflection I now see that I have spent most of my christian life training and mentoring others so that they would grow closer to God but rely on me. I was so bound in performance and insecurity that I needed them to rely on me so I could have a since of being valued and needed. No wonder I never saw God move through my life with the demonstration of his power.

I plead with you today to enter into His rest. It will be the greatest step of faith you have ever taking in your life but it will be the most difficult. I did not realize how bound up and busy I was until I began to enter into God's rest.

Quest for Rest

2009-10-26T21:14:00.002-04:00

Society is filled with humans seeking rest. Rest from illness, rest from daily demands, rest from spiritual bondage, and rest from conflicting stressful relationships. These only represent a grain of sand in the desert compared to the extent at which humanity searches for rest from. Who will bring the nations rest? How will rest be delivered? What does it look like? How do you make it yours so that you can eat of its fruit?

After years of searching, performing, and pretending I have come to the conclusion that we can not enter into rest on our own. It requires a spiritual move of God in our hearts and this begins with communication to God about what you want and why you want it. Jesus does the rest which gives you REST...

In Luke 4:18-19 we see Jesus making a deeply profound declaration. Jesus told us that this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing. That means that what Isaiah spoke through prophecy was now fulfilled (had come to pass) on earth. Isaiah saw into the realm of the Kingdom of Heaven and spoke that this was coming to earth then 1000's of years later Jesus stood up and said I am hear and what Isaiah said is now completed.

This powerful prophetic word is still longing to unfold itself in the hearts of humans who believe in order to fulfill the mandate of God, What is His mandate?
Profoundly simple...to make the kingdom of our world look life the Kingdom of His World (Heaven).

Luke 4:18-19 states, The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because has anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised. To preach the acceptable year of the Lord.

Hebrew word study
The Spirit - breath or wind
of the Lord - Supreme God
is upon me - on me
because has anointed - to be smeared with, rubber all over with
to preach - bring good news, declare, announce God's kindness that pertains to salvation
poor - beggar, destitute of wealth, helpless, needy, afflicted, lacking anything, one who is distressed
to preach - publicly proclaim divine truth
captives - prisoner of war
deliverance - freedom, pardon, liberty, forgiveness, release from bondage or imprisonment, freedom from the penalty
blind - mentally, physically, to be in a fog or in smoke
to set - allow to depart, drive away, send off, to dismiss
them that are bruised - crushed, broken, shattered, to be in pieces
at liberty - same as deliverance definition

If we were to look at this verse again broken down into modern language from the original Hebrew here is who it could unfold into our lives.

The breath of the Supreme God is on, smeared all over me and covers me because He wants me to tell this good news to the poor, to the beggar, to the one destitute of wealth, to the one who is helpless, to the needy, to the afflicted, to those who lacks anything, and to the one who is distressed. We need to publicly announce to the ones in prison, the ones locked up as a prisoners of war that they have been set free, free to be released from bondage and live in forgiveness. We are to speak to the people who are blind spiritually, physically and mentally. We are to tell them that they can receive their sight and no longer walk around in a fog of confusion. We are to proclaim to others that they can be healed from their broken, shattered, crushed life that is in pieces. They can be restored and can move into freedom, forgiveness as they are released into a new life.

Is Rest a Cop Out from Reality?

2009-10-25T07:11:00.004-04:00

We are so limited in our understanding and so set in our traditional ways, we will even do something over and over again even if we are getting results that hurt us. Some of us spend years of our life doing this yet do not change.

In 1 Corinthians 15 we see Paul telling us that he had preached to these people what he had received from Jesus and that they were to stand firm in their faith. He then reminded them of what the gospel was, it is that Jesus was alive as a man on earth then died, was buried, and then raised to life on the third day. He appeared to many people and some of them were still alive. He then tells us that Jesus appeared also to him who he felt was the least of all the apostles. Then he goes into this insightful passage in verse 10.

I Corinthians 15:10 But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them, yet not I but the grace of God that was with me.

Greek word meaning
Grace is Charis and it means to have a divine influence upon the heart
Vain is Kenos and it means to be empty

Paul was saying that because of this divine influence of the gosple (which is the fact that we can rest in knowing that our debt has been paid and we can not do anything to earn it) he was passionate to do things for God but they were done out of the heart of rest not performance. He says I have entered into a divine influence of God upon my heart through His works not mine and now I rest in Him. This rest that I live in causes me to take action on my faith and it is not empty or void from producing fruit. I work and do a lot of things for the Kingdom of God but I do it out of a state of rest not performance.

Rest is a great paradox in the Kingdom. It stands tall on the mountain of God, right up there with if you want to find your life you must lose it and if you lose your life you will find it, if you want to receive you must give and through giving you receive. It is so true to me that the Kingdom of Heaven functions on a set of principles that are much different from the world so my passion in life is to learn to live here on earth functioning by Kingdom of Heaven principles.
What is your passion in life?

We will either grow stronger in this earthly kingdom or in the Heavenly Kingdom, you will live a life from your soul or from your spirit. Heaven desires to transform earth to look life it as it was in the beginning. God desires to manifest His kingdom on earth because in so doing it transforms it to life like Him and His Kingdom, this brings Him glory and draws all men to Him.
What Kingdom are you building?

Jesus said that two structures were built, one on the rock and one on the sand. They both looked good, they appeared to be strong and dependable. They were both livable and felt like home but one day a storm came and it began to rain relentlessly. During this storm is when regrets began to rise in the heart of the builder but it was too late. His foundation began to wash out from under his base structure and the concrete began to crack then the wall became un level. Sheet rock walls began to bulge, crack and split. What was once smooth and finished was now uneven and rough, the house was no longer enjoyable to live in. Many of us have lives like this.
What foundation are you building your life, house, ministry, family, and career on?

As a contractor I have had many instances where after a structure was set in place it became obvious to me that it was not right so I had to take it apart and redo it.
Is it hard? yes!
Is it beneficial? It is worth every frustrated hour of labor?
Does a faulty foundation reflect just the building? No, it reflects the character of the builder more than the structure itself.

Called to a Life of Rest

2009-10-23T07:20:00.003-04:00

When we hear the word rest we think of doing nothing. No spousal to do list, no children functions, no work expectations, we imagine ourselves on auto pilot from life. However, we are not living the Walgreen's commercial of a perfect life, we are in the real world and this world places demands on us because it is part of living and being alive.

Chances are, if you are going somewhere with your life, if you have plans, desires, and passions that you are pursuing then you have demands on you. These demands create a need for us to rest so that we can recharge our bodily batteries, focus our minds and refresh our spiritual connection.

In Exodus we see our forefathers in Egypt due to a world famine yet they were living in the fruit of labor that Joseph had provided. However, Joseph had died and a new King who did not know Joseph saw the fruitfulness of the Israelite's as a curse not a blessing. God's blessings was causing our families and our labor to multiply like crazy. However, this type of lifestyle blessing that gave glory to our Creator caused others to rise up against us.

Exodus 1: 6-11 Now Joseph and all his brothers and all that generation died, but the Israelites were fruitful and multiplied greatly and became exceedingly numerous, so that the land was filled with them. Then a new king, who did not know about Joseph, came to power in Egypt. "Look," he said to his people, "the Israelites have become much too numerous for us. Come, we must deal shrewdly with them or they will become even more numerous and, if war breaks out, will join our enemies, fight against us and leave the country." So they put slave masters over them to oppress them with forced labor, and they built Pithom and Rameses as store cities for Pharaoh. But the more they were oppressed, the more they multiplied and spread; so the Egyptians came to dread the Israelites and worked them ruthlessly. They made their lives bitter with hard labor in brick and mortar and with all kinds of work in the fields; in all their hard labor the Egyptians used them ruthlessly.

I want to connect an earthly story with a heavenly reality. Just as King Pharaoh of Egypt was task masters over us in Egypt so Satan desires to be a task master over us in our world of modern day Egypt. Here is what this looks like...

Salves to the world
We enslave ourselves to our jobs for money to pay our bills, support our families as well as purchase things we want in life. Our task master (Boss) works us hard expecting great productivity out of us with a small if any lack of appreciation.

What about the stack of paper work that never ends, the appointments and meetings that never stop. What about the work load that always seems to increase due to growth of economy. We work harder for the task master thinking surely we will get to the point were we can become a management task master over others and relieve ourselves of hard labor but in all this effort we fail to realize that we will always be under the hand of a task master.

Others have poured years of labor into our task masters organization thinking there is now a since of loyalty only to be shaken to the realization that you just received a lay off notice with your final pay check. Where are ethics, respect, compassion, since of right and wrong? The system of a task master can never be pleased and will not even lend you a helping hand in the efforts you make to fulfill the duties of the task master. How about that? You are expected to do something but not even a helping hand will be given to you in order to help you do it?
You have labored, served, and slaved for years and for what?
Where is your rest?
Where is something more than a yearly vacation and 8 hours of sleep at night?

The curse in this is that you always come up on the short end of the stick. You never measure up. You never get to truly enter into rest because of all the demands on you.

Slaves to religion
Yes, I meant to say that. Slaves to religion. Many of us are slaves to a world system in the name of God. We attend church services weekly, bible studies occasionally and small groups regularly but still feel empty. We beat ourselves up over not reading our bible enough, we do not pray enough nor hard enough, we do not serve our church or community enough, we do not give enough, and do not even get me started on how ministers abused people from the pulpits of America in the name of Evangelism!

We make people feel guilty because they do not share their faith, they do not tell others about Jesus, and God forbid you do not bring visitors to church. If you are a person of authority in the church please check your heart and ask God if you have turned into an Egyptian taskmaster working in the name of Growing God's Kingdom.

How about those of us who strive to be good enough for God. We try to act good enough to deserve His blessings. We try so hard to live a Holy life because we want the gifts of the spirit to flow in our lives. Nobody knows about this secret life you live as you try to please the system of the taskmaster of this world because you always are dressed nice for church and have the christian four letter word (FINE) memorized as well as mastered. We force our smile through years of pain, falseness, and regret in order to say, "I am FINE" when someone asks us how we are doing.

Why do we pretend everything is okay when it is not?
Why don't we be open and honest with ourselves and others?
Why do lie to ourselves?
There is a solution to solve this crazy, busy, overwhelming cycle.

This is evidence that we are in bondage to a taskmaster, Christ came to set us free but we have enslaved ourselves to religion in the name of God. Is this twisted or what?

Rest Supernatural Lifestyle

2009-10-17T12:13:00.002-04:00

Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with the wings, as eagles. They shall run and not be weary and they shall walk and not be faint.

Hebrew word meaning
But they that wait upon –to be twisted together or braided together with, LORD - Existing One before time began, shall renew – cause to break through or pass through, strength – to have power, might, vigor, force, capacity for production, they shall mount up with – rise up, excel, restore, to be taken up, to ascend, wings – to soar, they shall run – move swiftly, dart to and fro, not be weary – no toil, not tired, no labor, avoid exhaustion, to not gasp for air, they shall walk – proceed, carry, bear a load, to cause to walk, not be faint – not fatigued, not weary as from a long journey

Prophetic application
Braiding is a process that requires 3 strands which are woven together until one is formed out of three. Think about this, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit lives inside the life of the believer so it is the Holy Spirit in us who is us that is braided into the trinity of God’s identity. So God desires to braid himself with us in His rest in such a way that our identity is formed in us through Him.

How do we become braided with God?
For years of life I attempted to do this through reading my bible, hours of prayer, years of attempted obedience, memorizing scripture, endless days of community improvement events and evangelism. We do not become braided with Him thought our efforts in the flesh regardless of how religious and good they may appear to be.

Attempting to do things for God in order to become more like God is no different than trying to live according to the law in hopes that fulfillment of the law pleases the Almighty judge who made the law.

Following the laws of this land does not make you a morally sound, spiritually grounded person. It just makes you a good person who follows the rules. This type of living makes you feel good on the outside but leave you feeling desperately empty on the inside. I have wasted years of my life trying to please God through fulfilling the law and religious duties of Christian obligations and expectations. At the end of a seemingly productive day I would find myself lying down in a deeper state of confusion and frustration because I was doing more but getting less out of it. If you relate to this feeling in your life this is your cue that you are performing for God in order to be accepted by God. As the farmers would say, “That dog won’t hunt.”

So, how do we become braided with God?
1. We must surrender our identity to stand alone as one who has all the answers.
2. We must become willing to inter relationships with others, to trust them be pressed together in closeness with them.
3. We must be willing to be tugged on and pulled at as we are being shaped into something new.
4. We must be wiling to wait for the process to take place, everything in the Kingdom occurs through process.

Notice that a girl with a head full of individual hairs looks one way but after her hair is braided that process changes her identity as well as the way she feels and thinks about herself as well as the way she responds to others around her. Someone who feels beautiful will act beautiful. This is God’s heartbeat and what He desires to establish in our lives.

God says, ”When you choose to be braided together with me in my rest I will cause you to have breakthrough power. I will also cause you to excel in your ability to soar higher in life with less effort. I will also cause you to move quickly and not even get tired and you will also avoid exhaustion. I will cause you to bear or carry loads without getting fatigued. All of this will occur as you assume my identity of rest through being twisted together in my rest. Only in my rest can you accomplish the impossible, many men have accomplished great things with great cost, they have lost health, wealth, family, integrity, and most valued time. These men die with great regret for their pursuit to make a difference and accomplish the impossible. I make a way were there seems to be no way and I create something where there is nothing, this is not what I do but who I AM. All of this flows out of the nature of my rest which through faith so that you will not have anything to boast about but will cause you to magnify my magnificence deep from within your heart demonstrated through your lifestyle not your words.”

I desire to life a supernatural lifestyle but my foundation must be grounded in rest not performance or the effort of pleasing God through religious obligations but through a desire to rest in Him as His character and nature saturates my inner being. This is how life changing events birth in your heart.

God says, “I will cause you to have brake through power in your personal life, this will not only change you but will release freedom to others also because you choose to enter my rest as a lifestyle. I will cause you to soar in the flow of the supernatural gifts of my power to the point that you will feel like you are not even touching earth at times and in this you will be so focused and grounded in humility because through resting in me you know it is me in you doing the work. I will cause you to excel quickly and progress rapidly for my Kingdom being released on earth, your time on earth is so short and I want you impact the world but more than that I want your life to have order and balance so you through my rest you will be busy without being exhausted and burned out. As you rest in me you will discover that I have placed heavy burdens for the benefit of humanity on you but these will not cause you to be weary with exhaustion as if you have been on a long journey. You will see my rest manifesting in every area of your life and it will deepen your faith as well as you life of praise and thankfulness. Don’t just remain in me but be twisted together, be braided with me in such a way that we are no longer two but one, for this is my hearts desire for your life. I do not desire to use you but desire to have you because you are a reflection of my nature and creation, be braided together with me as you eat from the bounty of the land I have given you as your inheritance.”

Resting Produces Growth

2009-10-17T03:29:00.001-04:00

Being planted in God’s rest causes us to flourish in His courts, most of us think that we flourish when we do something yet God is saying that we truly flourish when we are planted in Him through rest.

Ps 92:13 Those that be planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God.

Hebrew word meaning

Planted -It is ok if you are a transplanted plant and not an original one because He will accept you, House - His house is His dwelling of habitation or shelter and He is the LORD - Existing One before time began, Courts - in the settlement of a village or town, or a yard which is in closed by a fence are the courts of the God - supreme God, shall flourish is to bloom, sprout, bud or fly with extended wings.

Prophetic application

Resting in God causes you to soar higher, fly farther and see more than ever before, it will also cause you to enter into a season of freshness and newness as you bloom and bud like the almond branch in the ark of the testimony. Notice that rest through God’s mercy is seated about the almond branch.

Eagles use what is already there in order to effortlessly stay in the air, at high altitudes they can see more of life and benifit from what life has to offer and this occurs out of a state of rest.

Since God is in us and He has given to us His domain and territory. This area is the calling of your life, He has placed you in His courts or yard, I should expect to flourish in my father’s yard because I am planted with Him in.

When a plant is planted in the garden its nature is to grow out of its rest. It is rooted in one spot and grows well in the one spot and produces out of that place. Since we are in the garden of God we should expect to grow and produce through a state of rest just like a plant would naturally.

I would tell me daughter since you live in my house you have the benefits of playing restfully in our yard with no restrictions, you have total freedom in the space that I have given you as my courts but I can not offer that to you in some one else’s yard, only mine.

Realness of the Kingdom

2009-10-06T05:46:00.000-04:00

The Kingdom - kings domain
I realize that most of my life I am life the one whose eyes are open but can not see, whose ears are open but can not head and whose heart is not set for repentance. I no longer want to just hear the word and have an emotional experience. I want to feel his word alive in me, I want His Word to come alive inside of me as I live it out in my life. I am more interested in living and applying His Word to my own life than I am teaching and preaching. I will not teach what I do not live ever again I am seeing that what I live and apply to my own life is what is backed with authority and that is what I can release into the lives of others around me. I do not want to teach good lessons or deliver good messages anylonger. I want to release God's Kingdom of power on others so

Increase Occurs Through Giving

2009-10-04T08:03:00.000-04:00

I have been looking at my life through the story of the talents and realize that I in many ways have been like the guy who had one talent and hid it so he could protect it for the return of his master. God desires for us to use freely what he has given us so it can be multiplied for His Kingdom. When we go and ask God for some type of impartation he gives it to us but then we find ourselves like the one whose master left. We must at that point believe we have received it and begin to use it then when the master comes back he can hear him say you have been faithful with a little. Lets do it again I am going to trust you with more.

Perfect Love

2009-09-28T00:17:00.000-04:00

Perfect Love

Gauge your life to keep sensitivity; some go no more than 2 weeks of real tenderness.

John 17 love is perfect, we have boldness in the day of judgment. Love made perfect causes us to have confidence even in judgment. There is no fear in love, we love Him bc he first loved us. If we say we love him but hate our brother we are a liar. Fear is the number one cause in destruction; he wants to corrupt the influence in our lives. Fear is involved with torment and punishment.

We must live from the place of love, we need to repel fear, and when we do we see the word with clarity. Stuff that deals with judgment, punishment, and dealing with cause the person with fear to draw back from God. Don’t mislabel attacks from the enemy as God dealing with that person. We allow Trojan Horses into our life. Don’t partner with the assault thinking it is God dealing with you when it is actually the devil attacking you.

If you say you love God then love others. We can not claim an invisible reality that is not made manifest in the natural realm. I have this place with God but it is not a real reality. The only things that are real reality are the ones that. God’s richest blessings are that of friends. Love those who can not pay you back. We do not know what we have until we work with others who can not pay us back. The greatest place of safety is the one who cost us the most. The front line is the safest place to be. We need to have a desire to live out God in our lives. We need to learn to soak in His presence, we need to get things done but we also need to rest in His presence.

We must learn to let doing nothing be the place of our strength. Just sit down and purposely rest in God’s presence and let God pour out His love on us. We need to be awakened with every living cell soaked in His love. Increasing spiritual activity does not increase anything but the striving, do not live in response to the devil or you are being imprinted with his activity. Resting in His love is the most powerful thing you can do in this life. Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. Learn to live in the conscience of God’s love for us.

When you dial things down in a time of conflict can make things worse but you need God time, your quite time needs to be God time. Quite time rebuilds our storehouse for God, there is no fear in love.

We were created and fashioned to be at out strongest point when we say yes to God not when we are lining in reaction to the devil. The devil wants us to be always aware of him bc it keeps us distracted from God. He knows he can not beat us but influences us to beat ourselves. We are not to be ignorant of spiritual warfare. Do not be in response to Satan but to God.

The incorrect view of spiritual warfare causes us to war in effort. We war in rest bc rest is in faith. Do not spend so much energy living in reaction to the devil rather than in response to God. Do not lose sight of the love of God, it should be the supreme control in our life.

We have a table set before us, intimacy is the key to warfare. We set in the presence of evil while we enjoy what is on the table. Is 42 we give him praise, then God aroused himself as a man of war who thrashes the devil. Real warfare is intimacy with God